Day 2 - properties of boredom

Clement Stone said 'Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve'. I want to take things one step further: ‘Whatever my mind conceives, I will achieve.’

All I need to do is manifest one publisher... but seemingly out of thin air. I am trying to think about what they will look like. Someone older I think – with a few grey hairs… Someone with amazing connections. Someone who likes having fun, long lunches. A veritable legend of publishing, who hand picks who he works with... and thinks I am the next big thing.

No major manifestation breakthroughs as yet but only 48hours into the exercise. I am proving to be adept at maintaining a positive mindset... It is the belief angle which is hardest to conquer. Feeling like I will when I hold that bestseller in my hands is difficult at this stage.

I must do better.

As if that wasn’t enough, my flat in London’s safest, least creative area, Fulham, is for sale. I have accepted an offer and am close to exchanging contracts. But I have now offered for 4 other flats in edgy Shepherds Bush, where I really want to live, but have been gazumped an incredible 4 times in two weeks – all four flats have gone for 25grand over the asking price – or more. No estate agent really wants your call unless you are a cash buyer – but in order to be a cash buyer I have to sell my home – leaving me with no place to live! It's all par for the course but this has been going on for months. Property is so boring. It is such a tiresome necessity - rooted in the human need to belong - and sooo process driven. But without it, I would be screwed. Well , not screwed, but probably at a desk somewhere, staring straight out of the window...

20somethings are obsessed by the property ladder. Well, I guess as a 29 year old I am more obsessed than a 22 year old - but that's only because they are not yet on the property ladder. For 20somethings, such a ridiculous emphasis is put on getting on the ladder that it is hard to think of anything else if you are planning a future rooted in one place. Getting on the ladder is the watershed moment – the defining achievement which separates people who will ‘be ok’ and people who will disappear to elsewhere. The appreciation of property satisfies the 20something’s inner Margaret Thatcher. There now exists only two social classes – Owners and Tenants. Owners are split into micro classes determined by their postcode and number of bedrooms. In London at least tenants simply don’t matter – they are slime until they reach the ladder. Like serfs.

Tenants have a difficult manifestation ahead – the size of the task compared to their dismal financial capabilities can be too much to bear. But manifestation is there for them as it is for everyone. All they need do is think… ask… believe… and receive. The property ladder will manifest. I know - because it manifested for me.

So what do I tell sweet Violet, my 22 year old, fiercely indpendent sister? All will be revealed when How To Survive Your Twenties hits the shelves. Choice nuggets of advice such as: ‘Take advantage of the weak rental market – share a cheap loft in a crime ghetto and enjoy the burdgeoning gang scene’ and other insightful gems will abound! Violet, you are so lucky to have my counsel.

Soon all 20somethings will have my counsel. My publisher will manifest and bring my own unique brand of wisdom, irreverence and absurdity to the masses.

Speaking of manifestation, today has been a quiet time of writing, thinking good thoughts and feeling strongly that I am about to be propelled into mega stardom as a writer.

I have been visualising and feeling – actually physically, orgasmically feeling – what it will be like to see How To Survive Your 20’s in the number 1 slot at Waterstone’s and Barnes and Noble (get it?). To take it off the shelves and hold a copy in my hands.

I have no idea how this will happen. I just know that it will.

Another intense visualisation I have been having today is lunch with my publisher. I have a strong sense of what they will look like now. It happens to be a male image.

I will spend the rest of the day conjuring a female visualisation as well just in case. She will have to be older and slightly grizzled to avoid pathetic one liners from yours truly once she has manifested.

My pot of golden manifestation is just a few moments away at the end of my rainbow of visualisation.

Writing time: 6 hours

Manifestation rating: 81% due to negative thoughts about flat sale.