Day 18 - my new identity

I've been studying a few writers in a bid to find my true role as the author of 'How to Survive Your Twenties'.

Pat Dollard, featured in the March Edition of Vanity Fair, must be one of the most cutting edge artists alive today. If he can stay sober long enough to complete his film Young Americans, about 20someting US marines serving in Iraq, it will surely be huge. Dollard's goal is to de-sensitise the mindless MTV / Abercrombie and Fitch generation to violence by making Americans serving in Iraq into heroes, not villains. A former Hollywood agent, he is now a true champion of conservative America and Dubya has started to infuse his speeches with Dollard's slogans. He is straight out of the Hunter S Thompson mould of gonzo journalism. Unfortunately, he is in and out of rehab for a nasty addiction to crystal meth, is going blind and has recently returned to Baghdad and not been heard from for a while. He also has a penchant for making amateur porn and 4 ex wives in tow... something tells me he could be on a fairly terminal path.

But I like him. He is genuine. He's so sick of all the neo liberal bullshit in his country that he is daring to take a stand - and is winning, in liberal Hollywood of all places.

Nirpal Dhaliwal in the Evening Standard yesterday was lifting the lid on the real, street level effects of middle class drug use. He wrote of poor Jamaican women forced to carry lethal amounts of cocaine in their stomachs, and of impoverished Vietnamese tricked into coming to the UK to manage marijuana houses - farms where the drug is grown and manufactured. He quotes the Colombian president, who says every gram of cocaine sold is tainted in blood.

I like Dhaliwal's writing enormously. He has a conscience but is funny, human, bitchy and bitter about his issues. He loves to fight the ethnic corner and is unafraid, just like Dollard.

He also suggests (or hints at, without fully endrosing this route) that leagalising drugs in some way might help to cure the above problems.

I would go a step further.

For the 20something, Tony Blair's lasting, most visible legacy in power (apart from his iraq project) is looking very likely to be casinos on every street corner in the UK, with a few 'super casinos' dotted here and there. Presumably these are for when a small casino simply isn't enough to fuel our burgeoning gambling addiction, and we want a really big night out at the tables squadering our hard earned cash, or burning our all too easily acquired credit.

And it is interesting to see his wife, Cherie, spouting off just across the page from Dhaliwal's article in the Standard, saying that criminals should now be given the chance to meet their victims, apologise to them and then get off scott free!!!

It strikes me that Cherie might very well be on drugs herself (She often looks like she is). Presumably this new method of deterrence is also conveniently designed to combat Tony's other big legacy - our ridiculously overcrowded prisons.

The drug problem among teens and 20somethings, in fact all age groups, is rife. As long as drugs are illegal, the chain of supply and demand will remain ungoverned and hugely dangerous for everyone involved - the police, the users, the mules, the manufacturers - even the wretched dealers! How can the poor blighters ever say sorry under cherie's new scheme if they've been shot in the head by one of her husband's trigger happy coppers?

In light of the clear failure of the war on drugs, surely it would be better for a young person to get their e's from somewhere that had passed them as 'safe'? Would a regular heroin user not be better off as a registered addict and be able to buy safer smack from the government? (Mind you, the governement have shown no inclination to make gambling any safer - maybe they would be happy to stick with poorly manufactured drugs if it earns more cash).

You could call the new business 'Tone and Cherie's crackden'.

Or hang on... maybe just sell the drugs directly from all the new casinos?!!

They seem to enjoy endorsing gambling, so why not drugs too?

And seeing how fond we all know young Euan is of a good night out, surely Cherie would rather he purchased his pills from a more reputable source than Coldharbour Lane, Brixton?

I challenge Dhaliwal to bring this idea to the government's attention. After all, they could earn big money from it and that seems to be there primary motivation.

And there are doubtless a ton of private equity firms who would be keen to get in on the act in hope of eventual privatisation.

Step one could be asking Cherie to lead the charge in legalisation... she could organise for all the convicted drug dealers to say a heartfelt 'sorry pal' to all their former customers... they would all then be released from her majesty’s accommodation, never to offend again - ('its a highly trained workforce, ready to start immediately!' i can hear tony exclaiming excitedly over a glass of chablis)... and go and work for the government, in the new civil service department 'Provision of Gambling and Class A Drugs'.

There could be even a big statue of Tony and a maniacally smiling Cherie outside.

Now that's what I call a real legacy, eh Tony?

Anyway, I digress.

Dollard and Dhaliwal represent the best kind of artists. They stand up up for something, regardless of how it will go down.

I think I'll take the best bits of both of them and become the Dollard / Dhaliwal of self help.

How To Survive Your 20's, by someone who only just did.

Sounds splendid.

I am feeling deeply passionate about what I do.

Writing time: 8 hours

Manifestation: 100%