Day 32 - wednesday night alcoholism

Is it physically possible to go to a pub and have one drink only?

I'm not sure.

Flatmate and I last night ventured to our local pub. We had registered on Monday that there had simply not been enough boozing going on of late.

In fact, it was my first drink in nearly two weeks.

I feel very proud.

Cue conversation about exactly what constitutes alcoholism - a very real problem for 20somethings everywhere. There are apparently a set of questions we can ask ourselves to establish whether or not we have an alcohol problem.

"Have I ever woken up thinking 'I need a drink'?" is one of them.

Hmmmm. Let me think.

"Has anyone ever annoyed you by recommending you cut down on your drinking?" Is another.

The two blonde sisters we had the good fortune of sitting next to agreed that most of the people they knew, on these grounds, had an alcohol problem. What is it about London? It seems par for the course to get lashed Wednesday through Sunday. And when can a poor defenceless 20something, that most alone of people, identify when they are drinking too much?

For me it came a number of years ago when I finally realised that I was going to bars to drink rather than going to bars to meet friends. This realisation manifested in a panic attack one friday night when i was faced with an entire weekend of 'no plans'. I had been drinking heavily for a few years, and I realised how lonely i actually was in life. I simply didn't want to be where I was. And booze was the outlet. I would create reasons to hook up with people for a 'catch up', with the sole intention of getting completely wasted. Pretty soon I developed a small group of people who are interested in doing precisely the same thing. Following that, I no longer had to create a reason - we just got on with the job in hand. But in reality, there was nothing wrong with where I was, or my life.

But alcohol made it feel like there was.

Tribal pull is almost irrisistable. That group of people I built up around me are now my friends. And resisiting the temtapation of seeing them is proving most difficult. Doing what I am doing requires nothing less than 100% functionality in order to produce the quality of work that I need to. Friends can simply fly at half mast for a day a week. I cannot.

And just a few pints last night have dulled my creativity to such an extent that I am considering a prolonged period of abstinence.

Tonight there is another party. But I am not going.

How To Survive Your 20's will only manifest as a bestseller if I allow myself time out from the tribe.

It is the key to my future.

What I am doing right now is precisely what I will expeirence tomorrow and every day after that.

So no more partying for this boy.

We concluded that London was a town built for the alcoholic. 24 hour licensing laws, the climate and the pub culture represent huge temptation for the urban 20something.

I have written off the evening as 'research'. I must become an authority on such matters.

The conversation wrapped up quite nicely with blonde1, Alice, inviting me back to hers for a nightcap, which i thought most kind.

First one night stand of the year actually - such fun.

Writing time: 5 hours

Manifestation: 85%