Day 45 - ralph waldo emerson

I've been reading lots of Emerson - his universal knowledge is cropping up endlessly in chapters of How To Survive Your 20's In One Piece.

Emerson is known, along with a handful of others, as one of the grandaddys of self help.

He is big on self reliance, and helped sculpt the principals of American individualism.

This is certainly something which I can currently identify with. My faith in this project, some might say, borders on the insane.

Problem is, there is no other way for me. And therein lies the joy of it all.

In Emerson's words:

'Insist on yourself: Never imitate.Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only a modicum of posession. That which each can do best, but none but his maker can teach him... Do that which is assigned to you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much.'

It's big stuff, is Emerson, and it is both inspiring and frightening in equal measure. But as we now know, living with fear is progress in itself.

'Do that which is assigned to you' especially rings true. Throughout my 20's I have always known I wanted to be a writer. I was pretty good at writing at school, but beyond that, there was no indication that writing was what i should pursue. I just knew one day that was my purpose.

And when you just know what you want, no matter how big the task, no matter how many your shortcomnings, if you've got the balls, you just have to get on with it.

Granted, i have received help from my family along the way, but there's no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. I am risking my future, the sceptics tell me.

And they are right. In this society, every day spent as a 29 year old man not earning and building my CV is a risk.

But I regard the 9to5 as the bigger risk. The risk that you do your 40 years and, if your heart wasn't in it, you end up with nothing. No love, no happiness, endless 'what ifs' and a death affirming prozac addiction. Moribund we all are, but i'd rather really live until i die than feel dead way before i actually am.

And I'm sorry to say this, but most people in the Matrix are kind of already dead.

You have to stay out of The Matrix and afford yourself the time and presence of mind to achieve your goals.

That is Emerson's meassage about the leap to self-reliant freedom.

Human beings find a way to survive.

Because it is just making that step that gets you to the ultimate destination. Because the palace of your dreams - the images of happiness and contentment, maybe the car, the house, the lifestyle - doesn't actually exist. Because when you finally get to a place that resembles it, that moment is instantly in the past and you want something else. Hence the truthful old cliche 'the journey is the destination'.

So you may as well enjoy it and apply yourself to what you love. I am only just beginning to understand that phrase. By that rationale, I already consider myself a success. Just to have escaped the matrix and be on my path feels incredible.

Emerson urges us to truly examine ourselves and identify our calling.

But now that I have done so, everyone gives me hassle about it...

He goes on: 'Our primary duty is not to our family, to our job, to our country, but only that which calls us to do or be. Too often 'duty' prevents us from taking up our true path. We can push aside a calling for years, choosing obvious sources of money or satisfaction or a more comfortable situation, but it will eventually make its claims.'

Hmmm. That feels good. Our duty is to give ourselves the best possible life, and in doing so help all those around us see the light also.

On education, brilliantly, RWE says that conventional education is very much about teaching people where their ceiling might be as opposed to how to break through it - society doesn't want to bust open the matrix. It would be too chaotic. He talks of real intelligence living in 'intuition' - whereas all traditional modern schooling is based around 'tuition'.

I like this guy Emerson very much.

In a flash of light, Emerson says: 'Your conformity explains nothing'.

Why then, is it almost shameful in today's society to say to someone 'i am working on my unpublished first book'.

You get the inevitable looks of 'yeah, right' or a kind of half hearted 'good on yer pal'.

Insincere comments formulated at the heart of the matrix.

About this feeling Emerson says: 'We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea that each of us represents'.

No more shame over here.

Emerson says I am doing the right thing...

I am going with him.

Writing time: 4 hours

Manifestation: 100%