On my last retreat at Easter, i spoke to my shaman /guru about a number of things.
But my one big question was along the lines of 'If I carry on with all this work, this process of realisation and development, will i eventually get to a stage where i simply desire nothing, possess nothing and feel fine with that?'
His answer?
'Yes you will - but it takes a bloody long time.'
That answer made me laugh.
I was worried about suddenly reaching a level of enlightenment that takes buddhist monks a lifetime.
Anyway, I've spent the last four days in breakdown - wandering about my goals and my current position in the universe. I have to admit to also letting 'old fun' into my life on a few occasions.
But I've also been present. I think I am in the moment finally.
Just being able to accept what is now.
To simply realise that whatever state i may be in, whatever planet i might be on, whatever feeling i may be experiencing, is simply a perfect moment that has come to me woven in the pattern of my destiny.
And while enjoying this state, I really got that there isn't really anything worth striving for. Nothing really means anything universally.
Things mean something to me, and they might also mean something to you. But that doesn't indicate true meaning. Ghandi changed the course of the future for half a billion people, and he certainly means something to those people, as Nelson Mandela does to the people of South Africa. But even figures such as this, although coming close, do not mean something universally.
This is something I am grappling with at the moment.
Is the only thing worth doing helping other people?
I think maybe it is.
Writing time: not much, throught processes in overdrive
Manifestation: 50%
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1 comment:
I think you are doing great, MJ. Yes, it takes accepting what is now but with an underlying commitment to grow each day, even during those "breakdown" days. There is growth in that struggle too.
We don't have to mean something to everyone/on a universal level. But that doesn't indicate that we mean little to the people whose lives we do impact. There is a ripple effect there too. I think we'd be surprised how far a simple kindness or act of generosity goes. And yes, you'll be better for however many lives you touch, as an enlightened and selfless person.
Great reflections. Very healthy and productive issues you are grappling with.
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