After an awesome day of writing I've hit a blank.
Given that people, especially 20somethings, are so turned off by the stigma attached to self-help, I am stuck with a conundrum.
My target audience are not committed self-helpers - quite the opposite. They are disillusioned with self-help in the extreme. As I have said before, they wouldn’t be seen dead in the 'mind, body and soul' section.
And I've been lazy in recent blogs - I keep referring to myself as a future self-help guru... And as I write How To Survive Your 20's, and the book's manifestation continues at speed, I realise that I am never really going to be that - it's just the closest thing out there.
In Vegas, one of my friends who I hadn't seen for a while was asking what I was up to. I told him about the project and he thought I was perfect to write it. But as the term 'self-help' crept into the conversation a little too often, he suddenly stopped me in mid flow, laughing his ass off.
He chortled: 'You can write this book for sure - a XXX survival manual on your 20's - but you can't be a self-help guru!'
'Why not?' I asked indignantly, but kinda already knowing the answer.
He laughed and gestured to our surroundings. We were wasted on day 2 of our bachelor party, on a rooftop bar overlooking the strip, and surrounded by whisky, vodka, champagne and girls. 'Because you haven't got there yet! You have to help yourself before you can help others. Gimme a break!'
You can always rely on your frineds for a bit of honesty.
I saw his point. How can you be a self-help guru when drugs and alcohol are in your life? But maybe you can. As long as you are improving, right? Maybe you can appeal to people who are also trying to get out of the vicious circle... The conversation continued, and we concluded that there was a new area of the self-help market to be conquered: Go for the people who don't consider themselves in need of help, but who actually need it more than anyone else.
The obvious catch being that they are the hardest to get to.
And the 20something falls very neatly into that bracket.
We concluded (as has B in her comments on this blog), that self-help needs to be re-invented for these people before it can be attractive for them...
So I need an umbrella phrase, a new terminology...
The book is full of completely new self-help directives... No chapters called 'get in the moment'... None called 'the power of being'... No 'self love above all else'.
It's a little harder hitting than that. Chapter titles include 'arresting your development', 'escaping the matrix', 'how to quit with dignity', 'drop out now', 'the time is high' and 'the art of deceleration'. Which, while drawing on the well of universal knowledge that forms all self-help, are not exactly conventional guidelines for the work / life balance generation.
How can a self-help book possibly accept drugs and alcohol? But mine has to - because all my readers indulge in them. And so do I.
So it's not self-help, as we know it.
But just what the hell is it?
Answers on a postcard.
Writing time: 6 hours
Manifestation: 99% (final residues from Vegas preventing me from full marks)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
First...yes, you do have a challenge with the "self-help" stigma. But you realize it and are looking at it the right way. I think it proves exciting because what you are proposing with your book (and likely future pursuits) is something new...something that is useful and needed...even if the target market is not yet fully aware of that fact. Don't let that need for an umbrella phrase immobilize your mission, however. Often, in these cases, the idea is formed and released and some third party comes up with an effective umbrella phrase for it, quite offhandedly.
However, I know that you want this idea to be defined effectively for your target audience. Don't worry...I really think that will come. It is like running into an old acquaintance someplace and not being able to remember their name or how you know them for days. Then suddenly, you awake in the middle of the night and you remember everything so clearly. Maybe it just has to marinate for now. But it is still there...somewhere deep in your mind, working itself out.
At least you recognize this stigma and acknowledge that you want and need to be something different. There is a lot of hope in that.
Secondly...although I often feel far removed from my 20s, they are really just behind me, and I know for certain that as a 20-something, I sure as hell did not want some 40 year old expounding advice to me.
You are the exact person to be writing this book. You are credible because you've done it...you've lived your 20s to the seemingly fullest. And those days are fresh enough for you to be credible. But yes, your friend has a point too...you have to at least be committed to making the "turn" away from that lifestyle of the 20s...and show the promise that such a turn affords. This quote from Anaïs Nin proves very true:
"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."
You can show 20-somethings how to push through their 20s effectively while also encouraging them to appreciate that this decade of their life is supposed to be about experimentation and discovery.
Okay, I think I'm getting off track now. And this comment is going to be longer than the post itself...how pathetic! Truly though, don't doubt that you are the right person for this book. And if the drugs and alcohol are tripping you up...why not go without them for a stretch of time? By no means do people want someone who has no experience guiding them. However, people also don't want someone to attempt to give them guidance who hasn't really heeded their own advice. The balance is there...just focus on maintaining it.
B - not pathetic at all - best comment i've ever had - thanks.
doing some research today - rainy sunday in london... gotta back up all this stuff with something more credible than 'it worked for me!'
thanks again,
mj
You may not want to encourage me...I am notorious for being lengthy in written correspondence!
Nice...rainy day in London sounds perfect for writing. Research always help substantiates but look at The Secret for example...so ridiculously simple. Why did the advice in your book work for you specifically? It honestly may just come down to the method The Secret uses...testimony...finding people who are living it and showing how it positively impacted them.
Post a Comment