I've been assailed by all things 'yes' and 'no' in the past few days.
Actually, I've been assailed by the fact that saying 'yes' is much more powerful than saying 'no'.
In fact - saying 'no' can even be an effective way of saying 'yes'...
Confused?
My friend, who is pretty 'out there' in terms of radical opinions and beliefs, is into tantric Buddhism. Which as far as I can work out means enjoying the pleasures of life by saying 'yes' to everything, which will lead him ecstatically to whatever is woven in the pattern of his destiny. And he is happy to reach his inevitable eventualities rather more quickly and effectively than others.
On the same day there was an article in The Telegraph extolling the virtues of saying 'no'. William Ury, best selling self-help author and Harvard Anthropologist, says that we fall into the 3 A trap. Accommodate - saying yes but meaning no, often to avoid hurting people. Attack - anger taking over when we are forced to say yes or no. Avoidance - committing to neither yes or no and avoiding the subject. Ury says the type of 'no' that has become prevalent in today's society of 'positive thinking' is nearly always a hidden 'yes'
I was watching a great movie - Almost Famous - on the weekend. There's a funny scene when a daughter accuses her mum of trying to raise her, a yes person, in her mother's 'no' environment. But her mother's 'no' culture, if a little histrionic, is only designed to protect her kids - against the usual stuff like sex and drugs.
And it occurred to me that 'no' can be a positive. The reason Iraq happened, for instance, is that not enough people gave a positive 'no'... In fact it occurred to me that 'yes' people - and by that I mean 'can do' people, or people with the strength to give a positive 'no', really make all the progress in this world.
I'm saying a positive 'no' to a conventional career, so that I can say 'yes' to living a proper life which will make a difference to others.
Example: This weekend I said 'no' to a party I could have gone to, so that I could say 'yes' to a full weekend of development on the 5th Cycle.
So by saying 'no' I was actually saying 'yes', which makes me feel good.
All said and done, I seem to be behaving incredibly well recently.
I'll say yes to more of that - the manifestation continues.
Writing time: 4 hours
Manifestation: 100%
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6 comments:
WHAT YOU PUT IN YOUR MIND
COMES OUT IN YOUR LIFE...
May love, happiness and success radiate from you and return back to you multipled...
THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER...
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO...
Big love out to you today!
hi mj....your journey inspires me! you are so committed to manfesting this book - IT WILL HAPPEN. and thanks to you i'm motivated to really use the secret in my life...
we both referred to Wiliam Ury today! over a cup of chai this morning I read an article in the magazine Red titled - 'yeah but no...no, but yeah, but no....oh alright then...'
basically it's an overview of Ury's take on the power of NO and how in that very moment the power of the YES you said to your needs and values is all you should focus on....
very recently (!) i made a choice to REALLY (not fake it) live a life i feel passionate about and all of a sudden i find myself saying NO more than ever ....thanks to Ury, i'm resolved of the guilt!
every moment feels like a twist and turn on a rollercoster of new emotions but it feels so exciting....exhilerating....a life of true meaning which makes a difference in everything i commit to....and guess what? i can do it.
how are you doing?
Hi A.
I am doing just fine this morning - it's pretty sunny in London although a bit cold.
The Secret has been a great influence for me... There is a lot of negative feedback in the UK - people shooting it down saying it gives false hope etc... but i think it's a masterpiece. Granted, if you take it literally and just 'think' positive it'll take a long time to work in your life...
But if our actions are correspondent to our thoughts, The Secret can't fail.
When we choose a life that is impotant to us, something we are passionate about, all the stuff that used to hold us back just fades into insignificance... it's so easy saying no if it facilitates our 'yes' to a life worth living.
Stick with it - and keep me posted!
MJ x
I have also found myself saying no more often than ever...and for the better. I too have commited myself to a life that is rather nonconventional. I have said no to a life of greater material wealth so that I can enjoy living and be a better person for others. And I have already experienced a tremendous return as a result...namely, happiness.
I think that there is much in this post that lends itself to your desire to help 20-somethings. One of my largest struggles throughout my 20s was frustration over what I felt was expected of me. So, I found myself in a cubicle working for a corporation, working for things, and ultimately, very selfish. I didn't have time for others. I didn't laugh as freely. And I wasn't fulfilled.
Saying no to that life was the greatest thing I ever did. I was determined to lead a life worth living. And now my life is starting to feel truly abundant. There are still things I need to change and things I want...but I know now that it is up to me to say "no" and "yes" to the right things. You make a great point about The Secret...positive thought is something that I've found rather easy...but committing thought into action is the real leap of faith.
amen to that.
i think i suffered unduly in my 20's... i felt such intense pressure to really do well and succeeed 'for me' - most of it self inflicted i have to say, but all as a result of external pressures and society's ridiculous barometers of success... the sad thing is that the pathway to happiness and fulfillment takes just a few small steps. but it can seem so daunting because of how others tell us to behave that 99.9% of people never take those steps.
thus they stay in the matrix... experiencing pleasure, which they think is happiness... but never joy.
20somethings have it tough.
i wanna help those guys!
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