"I have always thought that one man of tolerable abilities may work great changes, and accomplish great affairs among mankind, if he first forms a good plan, and cutting off all amusements, or other employments that would divert his attention, makes the execution of that same plan his sole study and business".
I don't think there is a word wasted there...
Thursday, 23 August 2007
Friday, 17 August 2007
Beginnings
I just ate an early morning breakfast at my favourite French deli.
On the way back, I saw a friend of mine in the distance, walking quickly toward me. I noted that he was in jeans, sandals and a crumpled shirt, with a canvas bag slung across his chest. Odd, I thought, for my friend works at a bank.
His lanky gait on this particular morning was full of energy and life force. I warmly felt his presence approach, seeing him before he could see me on this particularly fine morning in west London.
As we neared a wide grin broke on his lips - a full smile of absolute joy and happiness and we embraced.
'I am off to deliver my new baby!' He cried 'labour just started!'. His entire being was one of pure possibility and optimism - one of unrestrained enthusiasm and openness.
I enquired as to which hospital he was going to so I could send a note, and bid him my very best wishes, letting him continue on his way.
In truth, can there be a more beautiful start to an August morning than bringing a new life into this world? And can a baby have better prospects in life, or start with a more pristine plate of infinite possibility, than to be born into a loving family and a civilised society?
As I got home, I sat and savoured that beautiful moment.
Then I remembered something I had read recently, written by Aung San Suu Kyi in 'Letters from Burma'.
'There is something about the natural smell of a babies skin that invites cuddles and kisses. Certainly I like both the shape and smell of babies, but I wonder if the attraction does not lie in something more than merely physical attributes. is it not the thought of a life-stretching out like a shining clean slate on which one day may be written the most beautiful prose and poetry of existence... The birth of a baby is an occasion for weaving hopeful dreams around the future... However, some (Burmese) families are not able to indulge in long dreams over their children. The infant mortality rate in Burma is 94 in 1000. The mortality rate for those under the age of 5 is 147 per 1000. 123 mothers out of every 100,000 die in childbirth.'
How can this be?
My friend, the actual picture of young fatherhood, was so happy and safe in his knowledge that his wife and unborn child were in decent medical care. Should it not be so for all?
But a country such as Burma has very little hope of such services. A country that produces 90% of the world's rubies (more valuable than diamonds) and is rich in minerals and beauty, and which languishes under a deeply corrupt communist regime with the worst human rights record on the face of the planet, cannot even tackle the issue of health education for newborn babies.
I am taking this on. I accept it as part of my mission.
So that Burmese fathers can hurry to help their wives through labour with the same vitality and abandon that was present in my friend this morning.
On the way back, I saw a friend of mine in the distance, walking quickly toward me. I noted that he was in jeans, sandals and a crumpled shirt, with a canvas bag slung across his chest. Odd, I thought, for my friend works at a bank.
His lanky gait on this particular morning was full of energy and life force. I warmly felt his presence approach, seeing him before he could see me on this particularly fine morning in west London.
As we neared a wide grin broke on his lips - a full smile of absolute joy and happiness and we embraced.
'I am off to deliver my new baby!' He cried 'labour just started!'. His entire being was one of pure possibility and optimism - one of unrestrained enthusiasm and openness.
I enquired as to which hospital he was going to so I could send a note, and bid him my very best wishes, letting him continue on his way.
In truth, can there be a more beautiful start to an August morning than bringing a new life into this world? And can a baby have better prospects in life, or start with a more pristine plate of infinite possibility, than to be born into a loving family and a civilised society?
As I got home, I sat and savoured that beautiful moment.
Then I remembered something I had read recently, written by Aung San Suu Kyi in 'Letters from Burma'.
'There is something about the natural smell of a babies skin that invites cuddles and kisses. Certainly I like both the shape and smell of babies, but I wonder if the attraction does not lie in something more than merely physical attributes. is it not the thought of a life-stretching out like a shining clean slate on which one day may be written the most beautiful prose and poetry of existence... The birth of a baby is an occasion for weaving hopeful dreams around the future... However, some (Burmese) families are not able to indulge in long dreams over their children. The infant mortality rate in Burma is 94 in 1000. The mortality rate for those under the age of 5 is 147 per 1000. 123 mothers out of every 100,000 die in childbirth.'
How can this be?
My friend, the actual picture of young fatherhood, was so happy and safe in his knowledge that his wife and unborn child were in decent medical care. Should it not be so for all?
But a country such as Burma has very little hope of such services. A country that produces 90% of the world's rubies (more valuable than diamonds) and is rich in minerals and beauty, and which languishes under a deeply corrupt communist regime with the worst human rights record on the face of the planet, cannot even tackle the issue of health education for newborn babies.
I am taking this on. I accept it as part of my mission.
So that Burmese fathers can hurry to help their wives through labour with the same vitality and abandon that was present in my friend this morning.
Wednesday, 15 August 2007
Butterflies
Did you know that when a Butterfly emerges from its cocoon, and flutters out into the air with its new colours on display, it can't actually see its own wings?
The butterfly has no real clue of its metamorphosis.
But to the outside world, it is no longer a drab, monotone moth. It is now one of the prettiest aspects of nature.
And yet the butterfly never gets to see its own beauty.
Transformation can be obvious to all but the transformed.
The butterfly has no real clue of its metamorphosis.
But to the outside world, it is no longer a drab, monotone moth. It is now one of the prettiest aspects of nature.
And yet the butterfly never gets to see its own beauty.
Transformation can be obvious to all but the transformed.
Tuesday, 14 August 2007
Oneness
Had supper last night with two great friends of mine who I haven't seen in a while. They've been together for some time now.
I felt blessed to be in the presence of people with this kind of energy.
They were living oneness right in front of my eyes. Every action was carried with unrehearsed detachment and calmness. It was all blissfully natural.
The word is overused... but Zen works really, really well here.
So unused to this way of being was I, that at first it took me a bit of time to get used to it. I thought perhaps this is a game they are playing with each other, due to the usual awkwardness in conversation that accompanies the first few minutes of a reconciliation after time apart.
But then I realised they were both just incredibly peaceful, and that their emotions, thoughts and actions were journeying together as one.
Toward the end of the meal, the story of how they came to be together was told. The principal words that I remember from this account were 'oneness', 'truth', and 'patience'.
I am introducing these possibilities to my life.
Today I am stunned at the level of inspiration in the world.
I felt blessed to be in the presence of people with this kind of energy.
They were living oneness right in front of my eyes. Every action was carried with unrehearsed detachment and calmness. It was all blissfully natural.
The word is overused... but Zen works really, really well here.
So unused to this way of being was I, that at first it took me a bit of time to get used to it. I thought perhaps this is a game they are playing with each other, due to the usual awkwardness in conversation that accompanies the first few minutes of a reconciliation after time apart.
But then I realised they were both just incredibly peaceful, and that their emotions, thoughts and actions were journeying together as one.
Toward the end of the meal, the story of how they came to be together was told. The principal words that I remember from this account were 'oneness', 'truth', and 'patience'.
I am introducing these possibilities to my life.
Today I am stunned at the level of inspiration in the world.
Sunday, 12 August 2007
Homespun ruminations on the dark side
At what point must one start to question all the hocus pocus undertakings we can find ourselves surrounded by? Courses, quacks, shrinks, gurus, teachers, charlatans, cults, mind expansion, NLP, EST... When to stop with this crazy journey?
Will I end up MJ Brainwashed of Gullible, Nowheresville?
Nope. In fact I don't think anyone could brainwash me. My spirit is unstoppable right now.
One thing all this stuff has awakened in me is that helping others brings happiness. But we can't really serve ourselves by serving others unless we come from a place of total clarity and authenticity. I.e. by the implementation of altruism, not philanthropy.
The current trend towards philanthropy is a case in point, and one which I am exercising on behalf of many individuals at the moment. And it is making me very happy. But I am introspective about how much of my happiness via this new path is delivered by some kind of narcissistic / professional need to be seen to do what I am doing, or if it is simply the knowledge of serving others that is giving me such joy.
I fear my project may never reach its full potential until I can see myself as an altruist as opposed to a philanthropist. I'm not quite there yet - my dark side keeps rearing its ugly head.
We will never really know how much altruism is being carried out in this world. Altruism is invisible to all but the benefactor and the beneficiary. But philanthropy... the pay off is there for all to see.
Here's what I am getting at:
My own need to forge a career, so that I may support family and treat my friends as I wish, admittedly encroaches on my desire to implement change and make a difference, to the extent when it is sometimes unclear to me exactly why I am doing what I am doing... And it is at this point when Ego begins to triumph over Self once more... And I lose all my power in what I am doing.
Only when coming from a space of absolute belief will I be able to pull off what I am trying here - global transformation.
I can only implement effective solutions when operating from light, as opposed to darkness.
And all around me I am beset by negative influences telling me to go this way and that, to change direction or at least consider additional workstreams - all of which appeal to my dark side, but not my true self.
But the universe tells me I am on the right path. It just feels that way.
I am absolutely sure, for the first time in my life, that I am where I need to be.
Admittedly, I have accepted much help from the outside world. I have undertaken some fairly controversial education, been NLP'd to my eyeballs, experimented with Peruvian hallucinogenics and even sought the help of a shaman in my quest for purpose and self.
And I guess I am a very, very different human being to who I was in January 2007...
But still, the dark side remains. In truth, perhaps it is as present as it ever was, and simply mutating faster than I can possibly comprehend, so sophisticated has this side of me become, to the extent that I am never be truly confident of making another decision totally independent of this darker force.
So... after all this work, and after all this time, what to do?
Do I delay my mission until I know I am truly enlightened?
I think not. Kaizen is the answer - to carry on on my mission, only ever comparing myself to who I was yesterday, and making sure there are significant improvments every single day.
How to stay present to this? By staying free of my dark side.
How to do this?
Well, let's examine where this dark side comes from, this deblitating virus, if you will let me call it that... Have we always had it, this inherent evil?
I would bet 'no'.
It has a source, does it not?
Of course it does.
I believe wholeheartedly that babies - that's infants I am referring to - little tiny humans - are free of this dark side.
Some may remain free of it for quite some time - maybe even a few years. And some may tragically be infected with this virus within seconds of being born.
But how do we catch this influenza of the soul?
Well, it's usually from those closest to us. In most cases, this originating incident can be something as small as the laughter of an aunt at a child's ginger hair, or being excluded by another child from a game. Or, in some cases, it is the first time a child is struck by its parents, or abused in some way. The first time we are told 'You'll be no good at math, coz no one else in the family is', is pretty sure to be the first rung on the ladder to a lifetime of failing math.
And at this point, this originating incident, we stop trying to live. We stop believing everything is possible, that we are infinite, and that we can save the world. Instead of living, we switch on the next best thing - survival. And our dark side stirs.
And, in turning to our survival instincts, the seeds of division in our soul are planted for the first time. Our defences guide us to avoid challenges, not overcome them. To lie instead of face the music. To run from fear, as oppose to step into it. And every time we do this, we are nurturing and growing our dark side into the fabulously complex 'thing' that accompanies us, or most times leads us, into 'adulthood'.
We start to compromise, for the sake of comfort, as oppose to punch the air and make a stand in the name of joy.
Darkness begins its long assault on light.
We become who we 'think' we are. And 99% of the time this is a 'limited being' that can't do this, or can’t do that, or will fail because of something that once happened to us.
Whereas in actual fact, we are unlimited - each and every one of us.
Now, the problem is, is that as we depreciate in value and contribution further and further, if we are lucky enough to live in a civilised society, we descend into a 'curriculum' that’s supposed to educate us into a good, long prosperous life. This is just as well, because by the time we reach school, any chance we had of grasping our infinite potential has been drained from us. This curriculum was designed by other people just like us - seemingly limited beings. And it is designed to prepare us to survive... Not to really live. And it is precisely because this curriculum is designed to run with the broken being, that the human race is in such an unhappy state.
Think about it. Where, in school, is there a class called 'OUR OWN INFINITE POWER'? I think it is absurd that these classes do not exist. Each and every one of us has an untapped genius inside, with infinite capability and prospects, but if that unique ingenuity is not discovered at an early age we are screwed. If the school says 'no', then that's usually it.
A curriculum such as this will always produce more Darth Vaders than Obi Wan Kenobis.
And by default, the next generation of Luke Skywalkers are faced with the same conundrum as Luke himself - who do I wnat to become? Obi Wan or Vader?
Light, or dark?
Hence we end up with an awful lot of assholes.
I digress.
But - stay with me, I know this is lengthy - just think for a moment: the cure for cancer, the cure for AIDS, the truth about god, all the mathematical patterns of nature... all these formulas are walking around completely undiscovered, imprisoned and being developed internally by fabulously brilliant people who simply think they are really, really stupid. Because that's what the system told them. These miracle carrying geniuses think they are so stupid that if they were ever identified, by some divine intervention, by the very same 'important' people that made them think they were stupid in the first place, they would undoubtedly be completely indecipherable, and in some cruel fate would go completely nuts during their inverted doctrination.
I digress once more.
My point is this: Due to our own innate infinite abilities, human beings are designed to live all on our own. To be self-sufficient.
What stops us from this?
Our dark side.
Because it stops us believing we can do it - all our dark side is is an amalgamation of all the negatives we have ever experienced.
I believe our curriculum should be based around preparing us to be self-employed, not employed. And, critically, it should condition and reward social contribution as it does profiteering. Is there anything as depressing as spending the first 20 years of your life moulding yourself to be able to fit into someone else's system? It is this process that further nurtures and grows our dark side. The frustration and the suppression are to blame here. The doctrination.
And so the spiral into an adulthood of light and darkness quickens, any concept of self being split like an atom into many deficient, conflicting parts, and we proceed to become reactive not proactive... deficient not proficient... self absorbed as opposed to engaged in others.
We survive, as opposed to live.
Once this doctrinarian of mediocrity has begun, it's all downhill. Our life becomes a transient, flimsy version of our true 'self', a new and complex identity is formed, resembling a mutating virus ready to infest our natural self whenever a gorgeous ripple of authenticity appears on the murky surface of our automated, conditioned existence.
The dark side is winning. It's just too powerful. It is backed up by everything we have ever been taught. It is promoted as being the pathway to health, wealth and happiness. Why would we reject it? The answer is that 95% of people probably don't.
But is exists inside all of us. The infinite power. Young, old, infirm, fit, healthy. The burning, confined fire of ability and genius. And it lays dormant and undiscovered in all but the fewest amongst us.
So what to do?
Well, a huge realisation I have had around all of the courses, all the 'cultish' learning that I have undertaken in the past year, is that it is all designed to deal with my dark side. To keep it in check.
To use it. And in using it, to remain free of it.
We don't need to simply accept our dark side for what it is. We can take control of it, and develop it into our 'edge'. That which makes us different to all other beings. I believe that the nurtured darkness in us all can provide the spark of electrical genius needed to ignite each of our world saving ideas.
That's what it is there for.
Because if we were all totally unaffected, it is very likely that nothing would ever get done - we would simply sit on park benches all day being deliriously happy with the universe and mother nature.
It is our dark side that godes us into goal setting and achievement - into wanting to be good at something, or wanting to be recognised for doing something good.
There is nothing wrong with these desires - they are all merely a projection of our 'self' - a reflection of all the events, circumstances and experiences each of us has ever had (which is precisely why the pathway differs for each of us).
I am embracing my dark side. It gives me my edge.
In doing so, I am ensuring it always remains servile to my true self - the altruist inside.
Will I end up MJ Brainwashed of Gullible, Nowheresville?
Nope. In fact I don't think anyone could brainwash me. My spirit is unstoppable right now.
One thing all this stuff has awakened in me is that helping others brings happiness. But we can't really serve ourselves by serving others unless we come from a place of total clarity and authenticity. I.e. by the implementation of altruism, not philanthropy.
The current trend towards philanthropy is a case in point, and one which I am exercising on behalf of many individuals at the moment. And it is making me very happy. But I am introspective about how much of my happiness via this new path is delivered by some kind of narcissistic / professional need to be seen to do what I am doing, or if it is simply the knowledge of serving others that is giving me such joy.
I fear my project may never reach its full potential until I can see myself as an altruist as opposed to a philanthropist. I'm not quite there yet - my dark side keeps rearing its ugly head.
We will never really know how much altruism is being carried out in this world. Altruism is invisible to all but the benefactor and the beneficiary. But philanthropy... the pay off is there for all to see.
Here's what I am getting at:
My own need to forge a career, so that I may support family and treat my friends as I wish, admittedly encroaches on my desire to implement change and make a difference, to the extent when it is sometimes unclear to me exactly why I am doing what I am doing... And it is at this point when Ego begins to triumph over Self once more... And I lose all my power in what I am doing.
Only when coming from a space of absolute belief will I be able to pull off what I am trying here - global transformation.
I can only implement effective solutions when operating from light, as opposed to darkness.
And all around me I am beset by negative influences telling me to go this way and that, to change direction or at least consider additional workstreams - all of which appeal to my dark side, but not my true self.
But the universe tells me I am on the right path. It just feels that way.
I am absolutely sure, for the first time in my life, that I am where I need to be.
Admittedly, I have accepted much help from the outside world. I have undertaken some fairly controversial education, been NLP'd to my eyeballs, experimented with Peruvian hallucinogenics and even sought the help of a shaman in my quest for purpose and self.
And I guess I am a very, very different human being to who I was in January 2007...
But still, the dark side remains. In truth, perhaps it is as present as it ever was, and simply mutating faster than I can possibly comprehend, so sophisticated has this side of me become, to the extent that I am never be truly confident of making another decision totally independent of this darker force.
So... after all this work, and after all this time, what to do?
Do I delay my mission until I know I am truly enlightened?
I think not. Kaizen is the answer - to carry on on my mission, only ever comparing myself to who I was yesterday, and making sure there are significant improvments every single day.
How to stay present to this? By staying free of my dark side.
How to do this?
Well, let's examine where this dark side comes from, this deblitating virus, if you will let me call it that... Have we always had it, this inherent evil?
I would bet 'no'.
It has a source, does it not?
Of course it does.
I believe wholeheartedly that babies - that's infants I am referring to - little tiny humans - are free of this dark side.
Some may remain free of it for quite some time - maybe even a few years. And some may tragically be infected with this virus within seconds of being born.
But how do we catch this influenza of the soul?
Well, it's usually from those closest to us. In most cases, this originating incident can be something as small as the laughter of an aunt at a child's ginger hair, or being excluded by another child from a game. Or, in some cases, it is the first time a child is struck by its parents, or abused in some way. The first time we are told 'You'll be no good at math, coz no one else in the family is', is pretty sure to be the first rung on the ladder to a lifetime of failing math.
And at this point, this originating incident, we stop trying to live. We stop believing everything is possible, that we are infinite, and that we can save the world. Instead of living, we switch on the next best thing - survival. And our dark side stirs.
And, in turning to our survival instincts, the seeds of division in our soul are planted for the first time. Our defences guide us to avoid challenges, not overcome them. To lie instead of face the music. To run from fear, as oppose to step into it. And every time we do this, we are nurturing and growing our dark side into the fabulously complex 'thing' that accompanies us, or most times leads us, into 'adulthood'.
We start to compromise, for the sake of comfort, as oppose to punch the air and make a stand in the name of joy.
Darkness begins its long assault on light.
We become who we 'think' we are. And 99% of the time this is a 'limited being' that can't do this, or can’t do that, or will fail because of something that once happened to us.
Whereas in actual fact, we are unlimited - each and every one of us.
Now, the problem is, is that as we depreciate in value and contribution further and further, if we are lucky enough to live in a civilised society, we descend into a 'curriculum' that’s supposed to educate us into a good, long prosperous life. This is just as well, because by the time we reach school, any chance we had of grasping our infinite potential has been drained from us. This curriculum was designed by other people just like us - seemingly limited beings. And it is designed to prepare us to survive... Not to really live. And it is precisely because this curriculum is designed to run with the broken being, that the human race is in such an unhappy state.
Think about it. Where, in school, is there a class called 'OUR OWN INFINITE POWER'? I think it is absurd that these classes do not exist. Each and every one of us has an untapped genius inside, with infinite capability and prospects, but if that unique ingenuity is not discovered at an early age we are screwed. If the school says 'no', then that's usually it.
A curriculum such as this will always produce more Darth Vaders than Obi Wan Kenobis.
And by default, the next generation of Luke Skywalkers are faced with the same conundrum as Luke himself - who do I wnat to become? Obi Wan or Vader?
Light, or dark?
Hence we end up with an awful lot of assholes.
I digress.
But - stay with me, I know this is lengthy - just think for a moment: the cure for cancer, the cure for AIDS, the truth about god, all the mathematical patterns of nature... all these formulas are walking around completely undiscovered, imprisoned and being developed internally by fabulously brilliant people who simply think they are really, really stupid. Because that's what the system told them. These miracle carrying geniuses think they are so stupid that if they were ever identified, by some divine intervention, by the very same 'important' people that made them think they were stupid in the first place, they would undoubtedly be completely indecipherable, and in some cruel fate would go completely nuts during their inverted doctrination.
I digress once more.
My point is this: Due to our own innate infinite abilities, human beings are designed to live all on our own. To be self-sufficient.
What stops us from this?
Our dark side.
Because it stops us believing we can do it - all our dark side is is an amalgamation of all the negatives we have ever experienced.
I believe our curriculum should be based around preparing us to be self-employed, not employed. And, critically, it should condition and reward social contribution as it does profiteering. Is there anything as depressing as spending the first 20 years of your life moulding yourself to be able to fit into someone else's system? It is this process that further nurtures and grows our dark side. The frustration and the suppression are to blame here. The doctrination.
And so the spiral into an adulthood of light and darkness quickens, any concept of self being split like an atom into many deficient, conflicting parts, and we proceed to become reactive not proactive... deficient not proficient... self absorbed as opposed to engaged in others.
We survive, as opposed to live.
Once this doctrinarian of mediocrity has begun, it's all downhill. Our life becomes a transient, flimsy version of our true 'self', a new and complex identity is formed, resembling a mutating virus ready to infest our natural self whenever a gorgeous ripple of authenticity appears on the murky surface of our automated, conditioned existence.
The dark side is winning. It's just too powerful. It is backed up by everything we have ever been taught. It is promoted as being the pathway to health, wealth and happiness. Why would we reject it? The answer is that 95% of people probably don't.
But is exists inside all of us. The infinite power. Young, old, infirm, fit, healthy. The burning, confined fire of ability and genius. And it lays dormant and undiscovered in all but the fewest amongst us.
So what to do?
Well, a huge realisation I have had around all of the courses, all the 'cultish' learning that I have undertaken in the past year, is that it is all designed to deal with my dark side. To keep it in check.
To use it. And in using it, to remain free of it.
We don't need to simply accept our dark side for what it is. We can take control of it, and develop it into our 'edge'. That which makes us different to all other beings. I believe that the nurtured darkness in us all can provide the spark of electrical genius needed to ignite each of our world saving ideas.
That's what it is there for.
Because if we were all totally unaffected, it is very likely that nothing would ever get done - we would simply sit on park benches all day being deliriously happy with the universe and mother nature.
It is our dark side that godes us into goal setting and achievement - into wanting to be good at something, or wanting to be recognised for doing something good.
There is nothing wrong with these desires - they are all merely a projection of our 'self' - a reflection of all the events, circumstances and experiences each of us has ever had (which is precisely why the pathway differs for each of us).
I am embracing my dark side. It gives me my edge.
In doing so, I am ensuring it always remains servile to my true self - the altruist inside.
Thursday, 12 July 2007
Day 107 - additional realisations
Realisation no.10: The destination doesn't exist. There is only journeying. So convinced am I of a greater force at work in the universe (and thus within ourselves) that not even death qualifies as a destination. It is merely something in common we all have - a consistent in the pattern of each of our destinies. But no more does it qualify as a destination than any other occurrence in our life. The journey is all that counts, because it is all that exists. You are totally in charge of the richness of that journey. So please, make it mean something. Don't indulge yourself in the laziness and barbarity of indifference. Poverty is man made disease and should be regarded as a crime against humanity of the highest and most corrupt distinction. I for one am now engaged in ensuring my journey influences the rudder of humanity. I am unsure as yet as to what influence I will have. But since embarking on this part of my journey, I have been filled with a sense of unlimited power, and can well see my shadow growing to encompass much of what needs to be done.
Realisation no.11: The oneness of all. I try and treat everyone I meet now as I would a family member - because that's what they are. If we journeyed to the stars, we would only see one planet covered in land and sea - just one. No countries, no religion, no racial divides. I know a guy who has 3 step kids that he calls his own. And a daughter of his own that he also calls his own. He has a very, very successful business, and he calls all his team members family. Everyone who benefits from his business - which is pretty much everyone he or his team comes into contact with - he calls his own family. And he doesn't stop there. He considers everyone to be in his family, and he considers it his responsibility to be a leader in that family and show them they way. He treats everyone as such, and this is something I have now taken on. There is no difference between me and my neighbour, nor me and my enemy. We are one - the same 'thing', the same flesh and blood.
Which leads nicely on to the final realisation:
Realisation no.13: The ripple effect. As a human being, I have become acutely aware of my power to influence those around me and beyond. This starts with a handshake, proceeds through the application of love and kindness, and is being brought to the fore with Cycle 4, through the implementation of creativity and guts. What I am saying here is make sure that you, as a cog in the universe, are a positive occurrence. And a positive re-occurrence. Because you exist way, way beyond the boundaries of your body and energy field. There is a blog here (Day 86 - an awakening story) that chronicles the moment in my life I realised my cog was all wrong. Have a look at yours. And be prepared to re-position your cog if needs be.
Our infinite power is alight in all of us because we have the power to change the world and enable transformation by simply walking out of our front door and doing exactly that - you don't need money or power or fame or success to do this.
You just need to realise that this is what you are here for.
MJ x
Realisation no.11: The oneness of all. I try and treat everyone I meet now as I would a family member - because that's what they are. If we journeyed to the stars, we would only see one planet covered in land and sea - just one. No countries, no religion, no racial divides. I know a guy who has 3 step kids that he calls his own. And a daughter of his own that he also calls his own. He has a very, very successful business, and he calls all his team members family. Everyone who benefits from his business - which is pretty much everyone he or his team comes into contact with - he calls his own family. And he doesn't stop there. He considers everyone to be in his family, and he considers it his responsibility to be a leader in that family and show them they way. He treats everyone as such, and this is something I have now taken on. There is no difference between me and my neighbour, nor me and my enemy. We are one - the same 'thing', the same flesh and blood.
Which leads nicely on to the final realisation:
Realisation no.13: The ripple effect. As a human being, I have become acutely aware of my power to influence those around me and beyond. This starts with a handshake, proceeds through the application of love and kindness, and is being brought to the fore with Cycle 4, through the implementation of creativity and guts. What I am saying here is make sure that you, as a cog in the universe, are a positive occurrence. And a positive re-occurrence. Because you exist way, way beyond the boundaries of your body and energy field. There is a blog here (Day 86 - an awakening story) that chronicles the moment in my life I realised my cog was all wrong. Have a look at yours. And be prepared to re-position your cog if needs be.
Our infinite power is alight in all of us because we have the power to change the world and enable transformation by simply walking out of our front door and doing exactly that - you don't need money or power or fame or success to do this.
You just need to realise that this is what you are here for.
MJ x
Monday, 9 July 2007
Day 106 - to conclude... I think.
OK, I think this it guys.
Wow!
It's taken 80 posts, 106ish days, a boatload of manifestation and a serious amount of soul searching. 5 mind expansion / life coaching courses, dozens of conversations with my shrink / coach, 3 family arguments, the end of a love affair, one Peruvian hallucinogenic, 2 one night stands, 2 new people, 4 'cooled' friendships, yoga, chi gung... And around 85% abstinence if I am correct.
All this yielded, as far as I can work out, 9 hardcore 'awakenings' or 'realisations'.
I say 'all'. By realisations, what I mean is things that I have now accepted as absolute fact. Things to hold close and abide by for the rest of my life.
So I guess this is where I should start, in order to conclude this leg of my journey properly.
Realisation no.1: I am Neo
We can all be Neo. If we manage to escape the matrix and engage in real life, we instantly become unstoppable and are filled with all the power in the universe. Our purpose becomes clear (to serve and help others), our minds open up to possibility and opportunity and our previously 'projected' future manifests in the present as a part of every day life. Playing small is a thing of the past. Anything is possible.
Footnote: All you need to do to escape the matrix is decide to do it. Focus on doing it. And just do it. It may happen over a period of small steps, or it may happen immediately. You may get up from your chair, leaving your suit jacket draped over it, walk past your colleagues to the front door of the office, and walk straight out of the building, never to return, right into the terror, vitality and lusciousness of real life. Or you may slowly ease out over the course of a year, paving the path you leave for others to follow. Either way, here's a tip: you'll never be truly happy until you've done it.
Breakthough no.2: The meaning of meaning (the meaning of life)
Life is whatever we want it to be. Fact. We can attach meaning to whatever we wish. Make your life mean something shitty and and you'll have a shitty life. Don't accept your education as fact - rather, reject it all and re-build via intuition - according to our own beliefs and values (nb: intuition: tuition from within: all the answers lie within you). Nothing means anything universally - and 99.9% of things are totally meaningless. BUT: some things come close to meaning something, and my re-built beliefs and values are telling me to fill my life with this stuff. The following things are close to having meaning, and certainly mean something to me: Contribution. Love. Commitment. Kindness. Happiness. Wellbeing. Integrity. Authenticity. These things mean something to me. But nothing is universally important or universally meaningful. Once I realised that, my whole being seemed so much... Lighter.
Breakthough no.3: The futility of desire
Rather like learning a new language, we may know what a word means before we truly understand it. I now understand desire as a massive waste of time and energy. It is so tiring to strive for and want all the time. I have also realised that being here, now, is the only way to achieve an abundant life. If we are always aiming for what you desire, it will remain exactly that - a desire. By aiming for our desires, you will miss completely how to get there. As my desire fades, my life grows richer and richer.
Realisation no.4: The benefits of stillness.
'Be still. Wait for the mud to settle. remain still until it is time to act.' Lao Tzu.
I now recognise this year and this journey I have taken purely as 'stillness'. Much as I have been physically still for much of this time, via yoga and meditation and just 'being', what I have really done is dis-engage myself from my former life, hit the pause button and given myself time to grow, learn and change. I don't think too strong a word for my process is 'transformation'. And I realise that I could never have done this without giving myself time to be still. To let the world pass me by for a moment. Being still gives me the time to read, absorb, think, listen, wait , stretch, breathe and just be. If you are procrastinating over whether to take time out, let me help you - press the pause button on your life. And only restart when you are good and ready. You may find it dramatically different.
Realisation no.5: Be religious about Mother Nature
I feel deeply connected to nature now. Our roll in the environment is clear to me, as is my own contribution. We, humans I mean, are just guests here. Mother nature is alive and talking to us. It's about time we listened. But even more than this, I also appreciate the value of life - that every living thing on this planet is equal and should be treated as such. This has instilled in me a feeling of gratitude and awareness for all that I consume and a deep conscience about my own footprint. I am even considering buying a Prius.
Realisation no.6: The effectiveness of authenticity
It's ironic, but as soon as I dropped my long standing inauthenticity, my entire life opened up. I did this by simply acknowledging, in front of 100 or so people, how inauthentic I was. The very moment I did this, an extraordinary sequence of events unravelled that resulted in me being in the wonderful clearing I no find myself. Great people appeared to help me - completely attracted by previously masked weaknesses. Work blossomed - ideas manifesting into the path I now see so clearly before me. And peace of mind flowed - in the knowledge that I was no longer lying to the world. Authenticity delivers so much else to your life as well. Integrity. Honesty. Resolve. And it made me realise one key thing: Indifference, or laziness, is a crime against humanity, and is the single biggest danger in the world today.
Realisation no.7: Go with the flow
'Flow around obstacles, not through them.' Lao Tzu.
Like the river of life in Herman Hesse's Siddhartha, the stream of our existence will descend in the only way it can - by sliding smoothly past the rocks and the boulders. We must do the same. In the same way as all rivers end up in the ocean, all humans end up dead. The only reason we step out of flow is to obtain something unimportant before death inevitably occurs. So what's the point? We are born with nothing and we die with nothing. Have stuff, for sure. But don’t make it mean something. That’s the path to unhappiness. We pay for pleasure, but we can’t buy happiness. Accept that your own river of life is as perfect and wonderful as anything in Mother Nature's scrapbook and get on with whatever your purpose is.
Footnote: For the opposite of flow, I think extremism fits. Flow is about acceptance and feeling fine and not forcing or striving. Extremism is all about forcing things to happen - trying to swim against the flow of the river, or even turn the flow around. Extremism leads to problems, balance leads to progress. It's not the religions of this world that cause problems. It's the religious extremists. And it's not the western countries that over react to the extremists, it's the extremist leaders of those countries.
Realisation no.8: Live in the day, for the day
'We're all dyin'. Act accordingly.' Jack Nicholson, The Departed.
I couldn't really put it much better than that. the importance of being in the present moment is just unfathomably huge. It has become abundantly clear to me that to focus on what is really important to me, I need to be in touch with the fact that I may not be here tomorrow. Every morning, I ask myself: 'If this was the last day of my life, would I do what I am about to do today?' If the answer is 'Yes', then rock'n'roll. If its 'No' for too many days in a row, then something needs changing. I call this process 'Mortalising'. Mortalise every day and ensure your actions remain correspondent with your answers, and watch life improve. I think this is what Steve jobs meant, in one of my favourite speeches to Stanford University, when he said: 'Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.'
So what happens next? Well, having taken my time out, having pressed the pause button on my life - I have realised what I am supposed to be doing.
It came in a flash of inspiration and it's called Cycle 4, and this blog is not particularly concerned with what that is or how it works.
I can, however, let you in on one thing about Cycle 4:
Realisation no.9: It's all about other people.
The only other thing that needs to be said is that this blog has worked impeccably. Although the subtitle for Manifesting Jack aimed to see my book published, the real purpose of the blog was to manifest my future.
And in chronicling my journey to this point I believe passionately that is has done exactly that.
I am pressing the start button again.
Peace, and love, and thank you for reading.
Writing time: 4 hours
Manifestation: 100%
Wow!
It's taken 80 posts, 106ish days, a boatload of manifestation and a serious amount of soul searching. 5 mind expansion / life coaching courses, dozens of conversations with my shrink / coach, 3 family arguments, the end of a love affair, one Peruvian hallucinogenic, 2 one night stands, 2 new people, 4 'cooled' friendships, yoga, chi gung... And around 85% abstinence if I am correct.
All this yielded, as far as I can work out, 9 hardcore 'awakenings' or 'realisations'.
I say 'all'. By realisations, what I mean is things that I have now accepted as absolute fact. Things to hold close and abide by for the rest of my life.
So I guess this is where I should start, in order to conclude this leg of my journey properly.
Realisation no.1: I am Neo
We can all be Neo. If we manage to escape the matrix and engage in real life, we instantly become unstoppable and are filled with all the power in the universe. Our purpose becomes clear (to serve and help others), our minds open up to possibility and opportunity and our previously 'projected' future manifests in the present as a part of every day life. Playing small is a thing of the past. Anything is possible.
Footnote: All you need to do to escape the matrix is decide to do it. Focus on doing it. And just do it. It may happen over a period of small steps, or it may happen immediately. You may get up from your chair, leaving your suit jacket draped over it, walk past your colleagues to the front door of the office, and walk straight out of the building, never to return, right into the terror, vitality and lusciousness of real life. Or you may slowly ease out over the course of a year, paving the path you leave for others to follow. Either way, here's a tip: you'll never be truly happy until you've done it.
Breakthough no.2: The meaning of meaning (the meaning of life)
Life is whatever we want it to be. Fact. We can attach meaning to whatever we wish. Make your life mean something shitty and and you'll have a shitty life. Don't accept your education as fact - rather, reject it all and re-build via intuition - according to our own beliefs and values (nb: intuition: tuition from within: all the answers lie within you). Nothing means anything universally - and 99.9% of things are totally meaningless. BUT: some things come close to meaning something, and my re-built beliefs and values are telling me to fill my life with this stuff. The following things are close to having meaning, and certainly mean something to me: Contribution. Love. Commitment. Kindness. Happiness. Wellbeing. Integrity. Authenticity. These things mean something to me. But nothing is universally important or universally meaningful. Once I realised that, my whole being seemed so much... Lighter.
Breakthough no.3: The futility of desire
Rather like learning a new language, we may know what a word means before we truly understand it. I now understand desire as a massive waste of time and energy. It is so tiring to strive for and want all the time. I have also realised that being here, now, is the only way to achieve an abundant life. If we are always aiming for what you desire, it will remain exactly that - a desire. By aiming for our desires, you will miss completely how to get there. As my desire fades, my life grows richer and richer.
Realisation no.4: The benefits of stillness.
'Be still. Wait for the mud to settle. remain still until it is time to act.' Lao Tzu.
I now recognise this year and this journey I have taken purely as 'stillness'. Much as I have been physically still for much of this time, via yoga and meditation and just 'being', what I have really done is dis-engage myself from my former life, hit the pause button and given myself time to grow, learn and change. I don't think too strong a word for my process is 'transformation'. And I realise that I could never have done this without giving myself time to be still. To let the world pass me by for a moment. Being still gives me the time to read, absorb, think, listen, wait , stretch, breathe and just be. If you are procrastinating over whether to take time out, let me help you - press the pause button on your life. And only restart when you are good and ready. You may find it dramatically different.
Realisation no.5: Be religious about Mother Nature
I feel deeply connected to nature now. Our roll in the environment is clear to me, as is my own contribution. We, humans I mean, are just guests here. Mother nature is alive and talking to us. It's about time we listened. But even more than this, I also appreciate the value of life - that every living thing on this planet is equal and should be treated as such. This has instilled in me a feeling of gratitude and awareness for all that I consume and a deep conscience about my own footprint. I am even considering buying a Prius.
Realisation no.6: The effectiveness of authenticity
It's ironic, but as soon as I dropped my long standing inauthenticity, my entire life opened up. I did this by simply acknowledging, in front of 100 or so people, how inauthentic I was. The very moment I did this, an extraordinary sequence of events unravelled that resulted in me being in the wonderful clearing I no find myself. Great people appeared to help me - completely attracted by previously masked weaknesses. Work blossomed - ideas manifesting into the path I now see so clearly before me. And peace of mind flowed - in the knowledge that I was no longer lying to the world. Authenticity delivers so much else to your life as well. Integrity. Honesty. Resolve. And it made me realise one key thing: Indifference, or laziness, is a crime against humanity, and is the single biggest danger in the world today.
Realisation no.7: Go with the flow
'Flow around obstacles, not through them.' Lao Tzu.
Like the river of life in Herman Hesse's Siddhartha, the stream of our existence will descend in the only way it can - by sliding smoothly past the rocks and the boulders. We must do the same. In the same way as all rivers end up in the ocean, all humans end up dead. The only reason we step out of flow is to obtain something unimportant before death inevitably occurs. So what's the point? We are born with nothing and we die with nothing. Have stuff, for sure. But don’t make it mean something. That’s the path to unhappiness. We pay for pleasure, but we can’t buy happiness. Accept that your own river of life is as perfect and wonderful as anything in Mother Nature's scrapbook and get on with whatever your purpose is.
Footnote: For the opposite of flow, I think extremism fits. Flow is about acceptance and feeling fine and not forcing or striving. Extremism is all about forcing things to happen - trying to swim against the flow of the river, or even turn the flow around. Extremism leads to problems, balance leads to progress. It's not the religions of this world that cause problems. It's the religious extremists. And it's not the western countries that over react to the extremists, it's the extremist leaders of those countries.
Realisation no.8: Live in the day, for the day
'We're all dyin'. Act accordingly.' Jack Nicholson, The Departed.
I couldn't really put it much better than that. the importance of being in the present moment is just unfathomably huge. It has become abundantly clear to me that to focus on what is really important to me, I need to be in touch with the fact that I may not be here tomorrow. Every morning, I ask myself: 'If this was the last day of my life, would I do what I am about to do today?' If the answer is 'Yes', then rock'n'roll. If its 'No' for too many days in a row, then something needs changing. I call this process 'Mortalising'. Mortalise every day and ensure your actions remain correspondent with your answers, and watch life improve. I think this is what Steve jobs meant, in one of my favourite speeches to Stanford University, when he said: 'Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.'
So what happens next? Well, having taken my time out, having pressed the pause button on my life - I have realised what I am supposed to be doing.
It came in a flash of inspiration and it's called Cycle 4, and this blog is not particularly concerned with what that is or how it works.
I can, however, let you in on one thing about Cycle 4:
Realisation no.9: It's all about other people.
The only other thing that needs to be said is that this blog has worked impeccably. Although the subtitle for Manifesting Jack aimed to see my book published, the real purpose of the blog was to manifest my future.
And in chronicling my journey to this point I believe passionately that is has done exactly that.
I am pressing the start button again.
Peace, and love, and thank you for reading.
Writing time: 4 hours
Manifestation: 100%
Wednesday, 27 June 2007
Day 101,102,103, 104, 105 - MJ - the re-launch
Everyone breathe a sigh of relief.
I have decided I am miles away from figuring it all out.
BUT - I need to redefine my mission.
Writing is a constant, my book remains my dream, but it belongs in the not too distant future.
I am called to use 'the now' for a different purpose.
It's time to manifest the major tributary to my book - Cycle 4.
The blog 'Manifesting Jack' is working it's magic - I have been guided to this point by the discipline and mission this blog represents.
The Secret is weaving my future right before my eyes.
I feel alive.
Watch this space.
MJ re-launches tomorrow.
I have decided I am miles away from figuring it all out.
BUT - I need to redefine my mission.
Writing is a constant, my book remains my dream, but it belongs in the not too distant future.
I am called to use 'the now' for a different purpose.
It's time to manifest the major tributary to my book - Cycle 4.
The blog 'Manifesting Jack' is working it's magic - I have been guided to this point by the discipline and mission this blog represents.
The Secret is weaving my future right before my eyes.
I feel alive.
Watch this space.
MJ re-launches tomorrow.
Day 100 - has MJ figured it out?
MJ is deliberating whether or not he has got it all figured out.
Have I manifested my future?
Have I manifested my future?
Thursday, 21 June 2007
Day 99.5 - a little thought i had
I just had conversation with the kind of person who thinks anyone can be bought.
And I kinda have ancient feelings for this guy. A bit of guy love, forgive the phrase.
But it occurred to me:
People who work solely for money, who may even unwittingly surrender 100% of their being to money, can never understand, or get related to, or communicate with, someone who works for a cause.
The money chaser simply cannot get past their underlying opinion that that person they know - that person working for a cause - is doing it because they are 'unable to become rich'!!!
And it's strange, because people who work for causes, very often will sacrifice 100% of their being to that cause knowingly and willingly.
But, if a person who works solely for financial gain actually becomes fully aware - actually realises - that their spirit and soul are being sacrificed, they always - without exception - pull back.
And what do they do then?
They look for a cause.
Doesn't that make people like that some of the worst out there?
They sooooooo neeeeeeed help!
But I'm ok with them.
I still love my friend - he just doesn't know yet.
And that is absolutely ok with me.
Writing time: sufficient, i feel clear, like siddartha
Manifestation: 1000%
And I kinda have ancient feelings for this guy. A bit of guy love, forgive the phrase.
But it occurred to me:
People who work solely for money, who may even unwittingly surrender 100% of their being to money, can never understand, or get related to, or communicate with, someone who works for a cause.
The money chaser simply cannot get past their underlying opinion that that person they know - that person working for a cause - is doing it because they are 'unable to become rich'!!!
And it's strange, because people who work for causes, very often will sacrifice 100% of their being to that cause knowingly and willingly.
But, if a person who works solely for financial gain actually becomes fully aware - actually realises - that their spirit and soul are being sacrificed, they always - without exception - pull back.
And what do they do then?
They look for a cause.
Doesn't that make people like that some of the worst out there?
They sooooooo neeeeeeed help!
But I'm ok with them.
I still love my friend - he just doesn't know yet.
And that is absolutely ok with me.
Writing time: sufficient, i feel clear, like siddartha
Manifestation: 1000%
Day 99 - siddartha
I can't quite explain how deeply I've been affected by the book Siddartha by Herman Hesse.
I'd read and re-read Narcissus and Goldmund. I loved every word.
But nothing prepared me for the brilliant, spiritual simplicity of Siddartha.
It feels like this book was delivered to me just at the right time. A few years ago I couldn't get through the first chapter... boredom reigned. How I laugh at that now. To be bored by this most stunning tale is to expose a darkened, jaded soul to the universe.
But even this time around, it took me a while to get going on it.
Then I had a little trigger to return to it a few days ago and I got through the 140 pages in no time at all, literally smiling from ear to ear as I read it.
I feel like this book has confimred to me so much I've learnt in the past few years - it really feels as if the words have removed doubt.
All the things Siddartha experiences - desire, family dynamics, friends, the removal of desire, the rejection of religion, attachment and the cessation of attachment, death, learning, oneness, unity, nature... and finally love, are all things I have come across for the first time in the past few years.
This book is so good that it actually waited for me...
I read it when I was ready.
Funny how it worked for me so well, huh?
Writing time: 5 hours
Manifestation: 100%
I'd read and re-read Narcissus and Goldmund. I loved every word.
But nothing prepared me for the brilliant, spiritual simplicity of Siddartha.
It feels like this book was delivered to me just at the right time. A few years ago I couldn't get through the first chapter... boredom reigned. How I laugh at that now. To be bored by this most stunning tale is to expose a darkened, jaded soul to the universe.
But even this time around, it took me a while to get going on it.
Then I had a little trigger to return to it a few days ago and I got through the 140 pages in no time at all, literally smiling from ear to ear as I read it.
I feel like this book has confimred to me so much I've learnt in the past few years - it really feels as if the words have removed doubt.
All the things Siddartha experiences - desire, family dynamics, friends, the removal of desire, the rejection of religion, attachment and the cessation of attachment, death, learning, oneness, unity, nature... and finally love, are all things I have come across for the first time in the past few years.
This book is so good that it actually waited for me...
I read it when I was ready.
Funny how it worked for me so well, huh?
Writing time: 5 hours
Manifestation: 100%
Wednesday, 20 June 2007
Day 98 - the chain of transformation
1) SELF
2) RELATIONSHIP
3) FAMILY
4) COMMUNITY / GROUP
5) ORGANISATION / PROFESSION
6) SOCIETY
7) WORLD
More to follow.
Writing time: 2 hours
Manifestation: 50% thought all over the place
2) RELATIONSHIP
3) FAMILY
4) COMMUNITY / GROUP
5) ORGANISATION / PROFESSION
6) SOCIETY
7) WORLD
More to follow.
Writing time: 2 hours
Manifestation: 50% thought all over the place
Tuesday, 19 June 2007
Days 94,95,96,97 - getting present to nothing
On my last retreat at Easter, i spoke to my shaman /guru about a number of things.
But my one big question was along the lines of 'If I carry on with all this work, this process of realisation and development, will i eventually get to a stage where i simply desire nothing, possess nothing and feel fine with that?'
His answer?
'Yes you will - but it takes a bloody long time.'
That answer made me laugh.
I was worried about suddenly reaching a level of enlightenment that takes buddhist monks a lifetime.
Anyway, I've spent the last four days in breakdown - wandering about my goals and my current position in the universe. I have to admit to also letting 'old fun' into my life on a few occasions.
But I've also been present. I think I am in the moment finally.
Just being able to accept what is now.
To simply realise that whatever state i may be in, whatever planet i might be on, whatever feeling i may be experiencing, is simply a perfect moment that has come to me woven in the pattern of my destiny.
And while enjoying this state, I really got that there isn't really anything worth striving for. Nothing really means anything universally.
Things mean something to me, and they might also mean something to you. But that doesn't indicate true meaning. Ghandi changed the course of the future for half a billion people, and he certainly means something to those people, as Nelson Mandela does to the people of South Africa. But even figures such as this, although coming close, do not mean something universally.
This is something I am grappling with at the moment.
Is the only thing worth doing helping other people?
I think maybe it is.
Writing time: not much, throught processes in overdrive
Manifestation: 50%
But my one big question was along the lines of 'If I carry on with all this work, this process of realisation and development, will i eventually get to a stage where i simply desire nothing, possess nothing and feel fine with that?'
His answer?
'Yes you will - but it takes a bloody long time.'
That answer made me laugh.
I was worried about suddenly reaching a level of enlightenment that takes buddhist monks a lifetime.
Anyway, I've spent the last four days in breakdown - wandering about my goals and my current position in the universe. I have to admit to also letting 'old fun' into my life on a few occasions.
But I've also been present. I think I am in the moment finally.
Just being able to accept what is now.
To simply realise that whatever state i may be in, whatever planet i might be on, whatever feeling i may be experiencing, is simply a perfect moment that has come to me woven in the pattern of my destiny.
And while enjoying this state, I really got that there isn't really anything worth striving for. Nothing really means anything universally.
Things mean something to me, and they might also mean something to you. But that doesn't indicate true meaning. Ghandi changed the course of the future for half a billion people, and he certainly means something to those people, as Nelson Mandela does to the people of South Africa. But even figures such as this, although coming close, do not mean something universally.
This is something I am grappling with at the moment.
Is the only thing worth doing helping other people?
I think maybe it is.
Writing time: not much, throught processes in overdrive
Manifestation: 50%
Thursday, 14 June 2007
Day 93 - debt / taking a stand
Interesting commentary going on in the UK about debt.
Charlotte Ross (20something) in the Evening Standard is talking about how her attitude toward debt is vastly different to her parents (who incidentally helped her out of debt).
She currently owes £34,000. She says that's about average for her peer group.
I can well believe it - I had a similar situation a few years ago.
What hope can we realistically offer 20somethings nowadays? Do they have any option other than debt?
I mean, apart from the top 0.5% who earn a decent wage straight out of university...
It's no wonder that people get trapped in the matrix. They walk out of university straight into it, already laden with debts and maxed out store and credit cards. What chance will they ever have to take a break and survey their life? Or start from square 1 again? Both these things are essential in breaking out. And debt keeps 20somethings from taking these risks.
20somethings are swimming in honey from day 1.
It's no wonder when I talk to some people about giving up their 'career' for some greater purpose I am met with snorts of derision. They can’t even afford to think that way. The first step on their path to fulfilment if they are not earning £50k+ by the time they are 30?
Bankruptcy and court orders.
It feels good to have reached 30 debt free. But let's face it; I am living in a wonderland. If my folks hadn't helped me out at certain stages, I would have been screwed. I would have had to sell things before the time is right to avoid going bankrupt.
Other than record my own rank experiences with debt, it is difficult to know how to advise a 20something on this subject. I mean, what should they do?
Drop out of life?
Drink cheap wine in the park?
Wear student clothes?
My parent’s generation are literally gob smacked at the debt problem. But they have no idea what it's like living somewhere like London.
Salaries are the same, but costs have quadrupled. Competition is the name of the game.
Sink or swim.
Take Virgin’s hideous new ad campaign to ‘Say Yes!’ to its Virgin Money loan and credit facility. The ads are clearly targeting the last remaining 20somethings out there who have not yet caved in to debt – it promises increased social status, and a kind of ‘style nirvana’ into which we will be transported once we ‘Say Yes’ to virgin credit.
I mean, ads like this should not be allowed. Plain and simple.
My only real advice for this journalist and her buddies is to step back from their life, and have a long hard look at what role they are playing.
Debt can be viewed as ‘an investment’.
Make sure the ‘investment’ is in a life that is worth it. A life in which you love what you are doing, you have a clearly defined purpose and that purpose is of help to other people.
And remember that one other thing that is as sure as debt in your 20's is the fact that they still have a choice.
20somethings can still pull back, make changes.
They are still in charge of their own destiny.
‘Turn on, tune in and drop out’?
Absolutely. I don’t mean this literally. I certainly don't mean drop out of life and smoke dope all day long. I mean opt in to a life worth living.
For most 20somethings, debt is an unavoidable fact of life.
And debt is bound to cause misery sooner or later. But it'll seem worse and it will last longer if you are trapped in a life without purpose than if you are fighting to get out of the matrix.
I get the feeling the Evening Standard journo is taking a stand for something…
That’s a very good place to start.
Writing time: 5 hours
Manifestation: 100%
Charlotte Ross (20something) in the Evening Standard is talking about how her attitude toward debt is vastly different to her parents (who incidentally helped her out of debt).
She currently owes £34,000. She says that's about average for her peer group.
I can well believe it - I had a similar situation a few years ago.
What hope can we realistically offer 20somethings nowadays? Do they have any option other than debt?
I mean, apart from the top 0.5% who earn a decent wage straight out of university...
It's no wonder that people get trapped in the matrix. They walk out of university straight into it, already laden with debts and maxed out store and credit cards. What chance will they ever have to take a break and survey their life? Or start from square 1 again? Both these things are essential in breaking out. And debt keeps 20somethings from taking these risks.
20somethings are swimming in honey from day 1.
It's no wonder when I talk to some people about giving up their 'career' for some greater purpose I am met with snorts of derision. They can’t even afford to think that way. The first step on their path to fulfilment if they are not earning £50k+ by the time they are 30?
Bankruptcy and court orders.
It feels good to have reached 30 debt free. But let's face it; I am living in a wonderland. If my folks hadn't helped me out at certain stages, I would have been screwed. I would have had to sell things before the time is right to avoid going bankrupt.
Other than record my own rank experiences with debt, it is difficult to know how to advise a 20something on this subject. I mean, what should they do?
Drop out of life?
Drink cheap wine in the park?
Wear student clothes?
My parent’s generation are literally gob smacked at the debt problem. But they have no idea what it's like living somewhere like London.
Salaries are the same, but costs have quadrupled. Competition is the name of the game.
Sink or swim.
Take Virgin’s hideous new ad campaign to ‘Say Yes!’ to its Virgin Money loan and credit facility. The ads are clearly targeting the last remaining 20somethings out there who have not yet caved in to debt – it promises increased social status, and a kind of ‘style nirvana’ into which we will be transported once we ‘Say Yes’ to virgin credit.
I mean, ads like this should not be allowed. Plain and simple.
My only real advice for this journalist and her buddies is to step back from their life, and have a long hard look at what role they are playing.
Debt can be viewed as ‘an investment’.
Make sure the ‘investment’ is in a life that is worth it. A life in which you love what you are doing, you have a clearly defined purpose and that purpose is of help to other people.
And remember that one other thing that is as sure as debt in your 20's is the fact that they still have a choice.
20somethings can still pull back, make changes.
They are still in charge of their own destiny.
‘Turn on, tune in and drop out’?
Absolutely. I don’t mean this literally. I certainly don't mean drop out of life and smoke dope all day long. I mean opt in to a life worth living.
For most 20somethings, debt is an unavoidable fact of life.
And debt is bound to cause misery sooner or later. But it'll seem worse and it will last longer if you are trapped in a life without purpose than if you are fighting to get out of the matrix.
I get the feeling the Evening Standard journo is taking a stand for something…
That’s a very good place to start.
Writing time: 5 hours
Manifestation: 100%
Day 92 - further deliberations on how to be
There is so much out there that delivers joy... and yet doesn't cost anything.
So much that increases energy, but doesn't expend it, causing happiness.
And then there is so much that costs us spiritually, which delivers only pleasure.
So much that causes pain, which we interpret as fun.
How did things get so f%$£@d p?!
Here are some quotes from Lao Tzu that I really, really love, but simply can't seem to master:
Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
Lao Tzu
Why can't I get present to this?
Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.
Lao Tzu
When will this happen? Am I really in control of my own growth? Why do I remain wild?
By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.
Lao Tzu
Why do I want everything all the time? I waste so much energy on desire.
Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.
Lao Tzu
Why do I still lose my temper with people?
I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.
Lao Tzu
Aaaaargh.
Here's some Lao Tzu that I really love, and am just beginning to get on top of:
Those who have knowledge, don't predict. Those who predict, don't have knowledge.
Lao Tzu
Keep tripping up but it's in there somewhere.
To know yet to think that one does not know is best; Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty.
Lao Tzu
Definitely getting there - is this called humility?
To lead people walk behind them.
Lao Tzu
Got it, struggling with it.
To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.
Lao Tzu
Trying to meditate daily.
Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained.
Lao Tzu
Difficult but necessary.
Now here's some of Lao's quotes that I really love, and which I think are fully integrated with my life:
Because of a great love, one is courageous.
Lao Tzu
Excellent stuff.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Lao Tzu
This is present in every aspect of my work now.
I do not concern myself with gods and spirits either good or evil nor do I serve any.
Lao Tzu
The laws of the universe will take care of us all - religion is the cause of 90% of misery.
If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve.
Lao Tzu
So not afraid of dying. Living each day like it's oging to be my last feels good.
The sage does not hoard. The more he helps others, the more he benefits himself, The more he gives to others, the more he gets himself. The Way of Heaven does one good but never does one harm. The Way of the sage is to act but not to compete.
Lao Tzu
On this rather lovely subject, here's another quote I was sent the other day that i subscribe to:
"Can you imagine living in a world, ben, where paying too much, giving too much, and trusting too much would all inevitably make you more?
Yeah, right, that's how this whole business began".
I'm so there.
But Lao Tzu rocks the hardest - out of all the gurus - he's the one for me.
Writing time: 4 hours
Manifestation: 100%
So much that increases energy, but doesn't expend it, causing happiness.
And then there is so much that costs us spiritually, which delivers only pleasure.
So much that causes pain, which we interpret as fun.
How did things get so f%$£@d p?!
Here are some quotes from Lao Tzu that I really, really love, but simply can't seem to master:
Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
Lao Tzu
Why can't I get present to this?
Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.
Lao Tzu
When will this happen? Am I really in control of my own growth? Why do I remain wild?
By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.
Lao Tzu
Why do I want everything all the time? I waste so much energy on desire.
Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.
Lao Tzu
Why do I still lose my temper with people?
I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.
Lao Tzu
Aaaaargh.
Here's some Lao Tzu that I really love, and am just beginning to get on top of:
Those who have knowledge, don't predict. Those who predict, don't have knowledge.
Lao Tzu
Keep tripping up but it's in there somewhere.
To know yet to think that one does not know is best; Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty.
Lao Tzu
Definitely getting there - is this called humility?
To lead people walk behind them.
Lao Tzu
Got it, struggling with it.
To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.
Lao Tzu
Trying to meditate daily.
Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained.
Lao Tzu
Difficult but necessary.
Now here's some of Lao's quotes that I really love, and which I think are fully integrated with my life:
Because of a great love, one is courageous.
Lao Tzu
Excellent stuff.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Lao Tzu
This is present in every aspect of my work now.
I do not concern myself with gods and spirits either good or evil nor do I serve any.
Lao Tzu
The laws of the universe will take care of us all - religion is the cause of 90% of misery.
If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve.
Lao Tzu
So not afraid of dying. Living each day like it's oging to be my last feels good.
The sage does not hoard. The more he helps others, the more he benefits himself, The more he gives to others, the more he gets himself. The Way of Heaven does one good but never does one harm. The Way of the sage is to act but not to compete.
Lao Tzu
On this rather lovely subject, here's another quote I was sent the other day that i subscribe to:
"Can you imagine living in a world, ben, where paying too much, giving too much, and trusting too much would all inevitably make you more?
Yeah, right, that's how this whole business began".
I'm so there.
But Lao Tzu rocks the hardest - out of all the gurus - he's the one for me.
Writing time: 4 hours
Manifestation: 100%
Wednesday, 13 June 2007
Day 91 - realisations on 'fun'
I arrived early for my yoga class after a really shitty day yesterday.
My builder wants more money - which is looking pretty thin on the ground again after so many months of earning zilch.
London was hot. And this city is so not built for the heat.
I couldn't even write my blog.
Yesterday was a fight.
And as we all know... fighting / striving / struggling doesn't work.
So I arrive for late yoga feeling like I'm losing.
Asking myself questions like: 'Am I deluding myself?' and 'Should I really be showing such blind faith in this unpredictable path?'
But I realised in my yoga class what had been happening recently.
I've taken more on, both spiritually and professionally, while trying to fit in more and more of my old life. And that won't work. That's how I wound up in such a state yesterday.
I need to re-focus and re-double my efforts, but I don't have the energy. Something's gotta give.
My realisation in yoga was that the fun could only come from pursuits that feed the path, and never detracts from it - that the fun of old needs to be dropped to move forward.
I need to replace 'old fun' with 'new fun'.
I looked back in my yoga and asked myself when I was at my best this year. I've been feeling pretty good a lot of the time, but I can pinpoint the peak periods - the times when all the breakthroughs are made.
My retreat, chronicled around Day 41 in this blog, comes up as the point of greatest spiritual and personal clarity. It produced breakthroughs of epic proportions, aided by the Peruvian hallucinogenic vine, Ayahausca. The vine of souls.
So - I am entering a period of abstinence. Abstinence from 'old fun'.
And I have booked the follow up to my retreat - Peru in October.
The time between now and then will make or break everything this blog is designed to deliver.
It must be treat with the utmost care.
Time to think only good thoughts.
Writing time: 2 hours
Manifestation: 80%
My builder wants more money - which is looking pretty thin on the ground again after so many months of earning zilch.
London was hot. And this city is so not built for the heat.
I couldn't even write my blog.
Yesterday was a fight.
And as we all know... fighting / striving / struggling doesn't work.
So I arrive for late yoga feeling like I'm losing.
Asking myself questions like: 'Am I deluding myself?' and 'Should I really be showing such blind faith in this unpredictable path?'
But I realised in my yoga class what had been happening recently.
I've taken more on, both spiritually and professionally, while trying to fit in more and more of my old life. And that won't work. That's how I wound up in such a state yesterday.
I need to re-focus and re-double my efforts, but I don't have the energy. Something's gotta give.
My realisation in yoga was that the fun could only come from pursuits that feed the path, and never detracts from it - that the fun of old needs to be dropped to move forward.
I need to replace 'old fun' with 'new fun'.
I looked back in my yoga and asked myself when I was at my best this year. I've been feeling pretty good a lot of the time, but I can pinpoint the peak periods - the times when all the breakthroughs are made.
My retreat, chronicled around Day 41 in this blog, comes up as the point of greatest spiritual and personal clarity. It produced breakthroughs of epic proportions, aided by the Peruvian hallucinogenic vine, Ayahausca. The vine of souls.
So - I am entering a period of abstinence. Abstinence from 'old fun'.
And I have booked the follow up to my retreat - Peru in October.
The time between now and then will make or break everything this blog is designed to deliver.
It must be treat with the utmost care.
Time to think only good thoughts.
Writing time: 2 hours
Manifestation: 80%
Monday, 11 June 2007
Days 88, 89, 90 - castaneda's view
I think I've found the best summation yet on all this stuff:
In Carlos Castaneda's masterpiece 'The Teachings of Don Juan', Don Juan Matus says on the subject of 'progress':
'The answer is very simple. A man seeking knowledge must not run away. He must defy his fear, and in spite of it he must take the next step in learning, and the next, and the next. He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop. That is the rule! And a moment will come when his enemy retreats. The man begins to feel sure of himself. His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task.'
It really reminded me of all those times over the years of struggle, the years of not accepting the easy route, when family members have said to me 'it must be awful, not knowing what will happen next...'
To which I always replied 'Yes, I suppose it is'.
Now, it's only recently that I have realised that it's not awful at all. It's the best feeling you can have. Because as the great Carlos Castaneda says, fear is real learning.
It also made me thing about how hard on myself I am.
When I read that quote, I actually wandered whether or not I would fit into Castaneda's definition of 'living in fear'.
But then I realised how foolish I was being. I live in perpetual fear. I am just so used to living in fear that it seems totally normal, which is where Castaneda is suggesting we all need to be if we are to make real progress. It made me think of all the times recently when friends / gurus have said to me 'you are making incredible strides of progress', and I have just stared blankly, disbelievingly back at them. Not realising the progress I was making - always looking for the 'big bang' of enlightenment, and not recognising the gradual learning I was undertaking.
When I re-read that quote, I realised I was already through the worst.
'He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop.'
Box ticked.
'The man begins to feel sure of himself.'
Done.
'His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task.'
That's where I’m at.
That quote made it clear to me that I've always been here. And that this entire process - self-help, spritiual awakening, personal development, enlightenment - call it what you want, is just a process of realisation.
Learning.
Cheers Carlos.
Writing time: 5 hours
Manifestation: 100%
In Carlos Castaneda's masterpiece 'The Teachings of Don Juan', Don Juan Matus says on the subject of 'progress':
'The answer is very simple. A man seeking knowledge must not run away. He must defy his fear, and in spite of it he must take the next step in learning, and the next, and the next. He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop. That is the rule! And a moment will come when his enemy retreats. The man begins to feel sure of himself. His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task.'
It really reminded me of all those times over the years of struggle, the years of not accepting the easy route, when family members have said to me 'it must be awful, not knowing what will happen next...'
To which I always replied 'Yes, I suppose it is'.
Now, it's only recently that I have realised that it's not awful at all. It's the best feeling you can have. Because as the great Carlos Castaneda says, fear is real learning.
It also made me thing about how hard on myself I am.
When I read that quote, I actually wandered whether or not I would fit into Castaneda's definition of 'living in fear'.
But then I realised how foolish I was being. I live in perpetual fear. I am just so used to living in fear that it seems totally normal, which is where Castaneda is suggesting we all need to be if we are to make real progress. It made me think of all the times recently when friends / gurus have said to me 'you are making incredible strides of progress', and I have just stared blankly, disbelievingly back at them. Not realising the progress I was making - always looking for the 'big bang' of enlightenment, and not recognising the gradual learning I was undertaking.
When I re-read that quote, I realised I was already through the worst.
'He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop.'
Box ticked.
'The man begins to feel sure of himself.'
Done.
'His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task.'
That's where I’m at.
That quote made it clear to me that I've always been here. And that this entire process - self-help, spritiual awakening, personal development, enlightenment - call it what you want, is just a process of realisation.
Learning.
Cheers Carlos.
Writing time: 5 hours
Manifestation: 100%
Thursday, 7 June 2007
Day 87 - laborious book proposal
I am trying to write my book proposal to show to publishers.
It ain't easy.
Synopsis, compelling key sentence, differentiation, key messages, chapter outlines, author details, first 2 chapters...
Exhausting.
All my sentences seem to be about 90 words long, and all my messages seem to be either plagiarised, or lost in a fug of over anxious, self concious first-time-authorisms.
There is something about writing this proposal that seems contrary to all my new beliefs and methods.
'Accept only that which comes woven in the pattern of your destiny...' said Marcus Aurelius. I mean, anyone who was Maximus' mentor in Gladiator has to be made of subtantial moral and intellectual fibre - a man of substance and experience (seriously though, his book Meditations is a classic. Nice and short too.)
Anyways I digress.
Forcing things to happen is just so... wrong.
But... it's a fact of my life that my subconcious is scarily at work at the moment.
In fact - it is a fact of life that, when in alignment, our subconcious will nicely order things in a neat queue in our minds, and those things will appear, as gift wrapped tasks ready to be completed, on time, every time.
Our sub concious takes care of things backstage - to the extent that i don't even know what it is up to most of the time.
The manifestations are happening allovertheplacerightnow!!!
I am putting this proposal to one side... until it reaches the front of the queue and is ready to be written.
Thank god for that.
OK, back to changing the world...
Writing time: 5 hours
Manifestation: 100%
It ain't easy.
Synopsis, compelling key sentence, differentiation, key messages, chapter outlines, author details, first 2 chapters...
Exhausting.
All my sentences seem to be about 90 words long, and all my messages seem to be either plagiarised, or lost in a fug of over anxious, self concious first-time-authorisms.
There is something about writing this proposal that seems contrary to all my new beliefs and methods.
'Accept only that which comes woven in the pattern of your destiny...' said Marcus Aurelius. I mean, anyone who was Maximus' mentor in Gladiator has to be made of subtantial moral and intellectual fibre - a man of substance and experience (seriously though, his book Meditations is a classic. Nice and short too.)
Anyways I digress.
Forcing things to happen is just so... wrong.
But... it's a fact of my life that my subconcious is scarily at work at the moment.
In fact - it is a fact of life that, when in alignment, our subconcious will nicely order things in a neat queue in our minds, and those things will appear, as gift wrapped tasks ready to be completed, on time, every time.
Our sub concious takes care of things backstage - to the extent that i don't even know what it is up to most of the time.
The manifestations are happening allovertheplacerightnow!!!
I am putting this proposal to one side... until it reaches the front of the queue and is ready to be written.
Thank god for that.
OK, back to changing the world...
Writing time: 5 hours
Manifestation: 100%
Monday, 4 June 2007
Day 86 - an awakening story
Awakenings: “An intuitive realisation that change is required”.
Don't you just love 'intuition'? Think about it as a word: 'in'-'tuition'. Tuition from within. I.e. all the answers lie within...
Anyway - awakenings are a form of intuition. You know the ones - when you are driving to work or on the tube and you feel a ‘pang’ that you should be doing something different with your life. Or the moment you realise that you need to break up with someone. When you suddenly think ‘what the hell am I doing with my life?’
It may seem like you have these all the time and you probably do. But why do we always ignore them? We brush them under the carpet and they fester, morphing from wonderful little awakenings into grouchy little voices. It's a strange default setting of the human condition to suppress awakenings - it's down to fear. Fear of change and fear of the unknown.
I for one am going to make every endeavour in life to listen to - and act upon - every single awakening I have from now on. It's quite a daunting task. It means never saying 'oh well, never mind', or 'I can't do that', or 'I’m not doing that it's too scary'.
It's committing to a life outside the comfort zone - but it leads to the rich, sun drenched pastures beyond the matrix.
Because acting upon awakenings – trusting yourself – is one of the greatest feelings that a human being can have.
I was thinking about one I had about a year ago and decided to blog it - I look upon it as one of my biggest moments of clarity.
It came at the age of 29 (a little while before I started this blog), after spending most of my 20’s working in various forms of marketing / advertising / PR. I had been recruited to write / direct a commercial documentary about the gambling industry (funded by an online gambling tycoon), exposing the extensive and corrupt involvement of the 109th Congress with various aspects of the American land based gambling industry, and their attempts to ban online gambling. Albeit morally questionable, It was a fun project to work on – huge budgets, flying all over the world, interviewing politicians and businessmen and high rollers.
Anyway, back to the awakening: I was on a plane flying from Phoenix to Chicago. In Phoenix I had interviewed the world’s leading anti gambling activist, the Reverend Tom Grey. He had seriously impressed me – he was a man on a mission - a man with principles. We got on well and it was a good interview, but it made me feel uneasy – did that guy respect me? Did he even like me? Was he just being polite? I had the feeling that this incredibly fit 65/70 yr old had thought that I was charming, but a bit of a sham. A fake.
So here I am on a plane (feeling uneasy because I always want people to like me), and the in flight movie comes on – it’s ‘Thank you for Smoking’. If you haven’t seen his brilliant movie, rent it now - it's about the lobbying tactics of the big tobacco companies. Cue what I call my ‘Jerry McGuire Moment’. Major Pang. I realised that by directing this film about gambling that I was becoming that lead lobby guy in ‘Thank you For Smoking’ – the guy who promotes smoking as healthy and cool. And I realised that although I loved the process of writing, I’d never actually written anything that was true.
For the first time ever I stopped thinking aboutthe monthly paycheck, and started to think about my place in the world.
And I can't say I liked it.
When I really identified what my place was, and considered the ripple effect it could be having on the world, I just decided there and then to change that – that that existence was not good enough for me – and shortly after that, following a bizzare sequence of events, I sat down and started to write this book.
6 months on I am not earning a conventional salary, but I have manifested ways to survive - prosper even, and I am as happy as I have ever been. Integrity, authenticity, love and trust are all ever present in life.
I know I keep saying it, but I am in alignment.
I just want to take a moment to thank the Reverend for not liking me - it triggered my biggest awakening.
Imagine how the world would be if everyone - every single person - never again chose to ignore an awakening.
If they acted upon every single one...
Writing time: 3 hours
Manifestation: 100%
Don't you just love 'intuition'? Think about it as a word: 'in'-'tuition'. Tuition from within. I.e. all the answers lie within...
Anyway - awakenings are a form of intuition. You know the ones - when you are driving to work or on the tube and you feel a ‘pang’ that you should be doing something different with your life. Or the moment you realise that you need to break up with someone. When you suddenly think ‘what the hell am I doing with my life?’
It may seem like you have these all the time and you probably do. But why do we always ignore them? We brush them under the carpet and they fester, morphing from wonderful little awakenings into grouchy little voices. It's a strange default setting of the human condition to suppress awakenings - it's down to fear. Fear of change and fear of the unknown.
I for one am going to make every endeavour in life to listen to - and act upon - every single awakening I have from now on. It's quite a daunting task. It means never saying 'oh well, never mind', or 'I can't do that', or 'I’m not doing that it's too scary'.
It's committing to a life outside the comfort zone - but it leads to the rich, sun drenched pastures beyond the matrix.
Because acting upon awakenings – trusting yourself – is one of the greatest feelings that a human being can have.
I was thinking about one I had about a year ago and decided to blog it - I look upon it as one of my biggest moments of clarity.
It came at the age of 29 (a little while before I started this blog), after spending most of my 20’s working in various forms of marketing / advertising / PR. I had been recruited to write / direct a commercial documentary about the gambling industry (funded by an online gambling tycoon), exposing the extensive and corrupt involvement of the 109th Congress with various aspects of the American land based gambling industry, and their attempts to ban online gambling. Albeit morally questionable, It was a fun project to work on – huge budgets, flying all over the world, interviewing politicians and businessmen and high rollers.
Anyway, back to the awakening: I was on a plane flying from Phoenix to Chicago. In Phoenix I had interviewed the world’s leading anti gambling activist, the Reverend Tom Grey. He had seriously impressed me – he was a man on a mission - a man with principles. We got on well and it was a good interview, but it made me feel uneasy – did that guy respect me? Did he even like me? Was he just being polite? I had the feeling that this incredibly fit 65/70 yr old had thought that I was charming, but a bit of a sham. A fake.
So here I am on a plane (feeling uneasy because I always want people to like me), and the in flight movie comes on – it’s ‘Thank you for Smoking’. If you haven’t seen his brilliant movie, rent it now - it's about the lobbying tactics of the big tobacco companies. Cue what I call my ‘Jerry McGuire Moment’. Major Pang. I realised that by directing this film about gambling that I was becoming that lead lobby guy in ‘Thank you For Smoking’ – the guy who promotes smoking as healthy and cool. And I realised that although I loved the process of writing, I’d never actually written anything that was true.
For the first time ever I stopped thinking aboutthe monthly paycheck, and started to think about my place in the world.
And I can't say I liked it.
When I really identified what my place was, and considered the ripple effect it could be having on the world, I just decided there and then to change that – that that existence was not good enough for me – and shortly after that, following a bizzare sequence of events, I sat down and started to write this book.
6 months on I am not earning a conventional salary, but I have manifested ways to survive - prosper even, and I am as happy as I have ever been. Integrity, authenticity, love and trust are all ever present in life.
I know I keep saying it, but I am in alignment.
I just want to take a moment to thank the Reverend for not liking me - it triggered my biggest awakening.
Imagine how the world would be if everyone - every single person - never again chose to ignore an awakening.
If they acted upon every single one...
Writing time: 3 hours
Manifestation: 100%
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
