Day 80 - the directors cut

Been on a movie binge recently - watched Wolfgang Peterson's full length version of Das Boot last night.

Epic.

It's about young U-Boat commanders being sent to sea by Hitler before they are truly ready. I found it incredibly inspiring - considering it's set on a submarine and I am chronically claustrophobic.

At the moment, I sort of feel like I've only just taken the reigns in my life... And although this blog is now 80 days old, it still feels very much in its infancy.

Yet my re-launch is nearly at the stage we all know and love as 'manifestation'. Am I ready?

When I say 'nearly', I mean there are only a few tasks to perform before 'going public'... And these might take time. And like a director who painstakingly takes a whole day to shoot 10 seconds of usable footage, or sits at the edit suite for weeks on end to ensure the love between his lead actors is believable, these tasks must be completed correctly.

I've slipped at the final hurdle too many times to mention. I can't let it happen again.

I feel like a director who finally gets to do a personal 'cut' for his masterpiece's re-release on DVD, without the constraints of a big studio saying it's too long or too complicated for theatrical release.

I've taken control of my own movie for the first time...

And overnight success is not the goal.

I mean... I am sure I would have been fine, taking the conventional route. Indeed, if I had been lucky enough to get a good mentor here and there, I could have climbed the ladder and ended up pretty 'successful'.

Or would I?

Does a cat ever really get used to its cage at the zoo...?

The feeling I am experiencing just now is one of 'extreme vitality'.

I feel properly alive for the first time ever. And I want this feeling for everyone - but the matrix transpires against me.

Time to expose that racket.

The director's cut is underway.

Here's to a sprawling, beautifully shot epic.

A summer blockbuster with a happy ending.

Think Wolfgang Peterson's version of Das Boot - without the war, submarines, death and claustrophobia.

BTW: How did this guy go on to make 'Troy'?! Weird.

Writing time: 3 hours

Manifestation: 100%

Day 77, 78, 79 - yes and no

I've been assailed by all things 'yes' and 'no' in the past few days.

Actually, I've been assailed by the fact that saying 'yes' is much more powerful than saying 'no'.

In fact - saying 'no' can even be an effective way of saying 'yes'...

Confused?

My friend, who is pretty 'out there' in terms of radical opinions and beliefs, is into tantric Buddhism. Which as far as I can work out means enjoying the pleasures of life by saying 'yes' to everything, which will lead him ecstatically to whatever is woven in the pattern of his destiny. And he is happy to reach his inevitable eventualities rather more quickly and effectively than others.

On the same day there was an article in The Telegraph extolling the virtues of saying 'no'. William Ury, best selling self-help author and Harvard Anthropologist, says that we fall into the 3 A trap. Accommodate - saying yes but meaning no, often to avoid hurting people. Attack - anger taking over when we are forced to say yes or no. Avoidance - committing to neither yes or no and avoiding the subject. Ury says the type of 'no' that has become prevalent in today's society of 'positive thinking' is nearly always a hidden 'yes'

I was watching a great movie - Almost Famous - on the weekend. There's a funny scene when a daughter accuses her mum of trying to raise her, a yes person, in her mother's 'no' environment. But her mother's 'no' culture, if a little histrionic, is only designed to protect her kids - against the usual stuff like sex and drugs.

And it occurred to me that 'no' can be a positive. The reason Iraq happened, for instance, is that not enough people gave a positive 'no'... In fact it occurred to me that 'yes' people - and by that I mean 'can do' people, or people with the strength to give a positive 'no', really make all the progress in this world.

I'm saying a positive 'no' to a conventional career, so that I can say 'yes' to living a proper life which will make a difference to others.

Example: This weekend I said 'no' to a party I could have gone to, so that I could say 'yes' to a full weekend of development on the 5th Cycle.

So by saying 'no' I was actually saying 'yes', which makes me feel good.

All said and done, I seem to be behaving incredibly well recently.

I'll say yes to more of that - the manifestation continues.

Writing time: 4 hours

Manifestation: 100%

Day 76 - genesis of change

Things are afoot at this end.

How To Survive Your 20's will soon have a platfrom from which to grow organically. The 5th Cycle grows daily.

It's strange, but lately I've had the feeling that i've been trying to build a house without foundations... know what i mean?

And I've spent much of the last week focussing on words like integrity... credibility... authenticity...

The 5th Cycle brings all those into my life - right now I feel I have all 3 in abundance. Thus, as I have them right now, my future will be full of them.

The 5th Cycle is the foundation of my dreams - the spring from which How To Survive Your 20's can flow.

I've realised that 'life for me' is no life at all. Life for others is the most rewarding path a person can take - rewarding in every sense of the word.

Service to others. How To Survive Your 20's has to be of service to others.

Stumbled across a great quote the other day from Robin Sharma - author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.

"It's risky out on a limb. But that's where all the fruit is."

You may have thought I was already out on one.

There is much, much more to come.

Writing time: 4 hours

Manifestation: 100%

Day 75 - all we have is right now

When I realised this as truth, one thing became abundantly clear:

The future is bright.

Day 74 - the 5th cycle - mission statement

It occurred to me on Sunday evening, in a moment of extreme clarity, that I can change the world.

And then I realised that is what I have been trying to do with this project.

I've just had a few things back to front.

Time to put that right.

The London based banker John Studzinski yesterday gave the Tate Modern it's biggest gift ever - £5million. I read up on this guy and he is genuinely involved in 'life' - the lives going on around him as well as his own. His homeless charity seems properly effective, as does his Genesis Foundation for struggling artists. It follows the Bill Gates / Warren Buffet phenomenon in the states. The American tradition of philanthropy is alive and well, and seems to have gone viral.

Hopefully London’s billionaires will follow suit and start contributing to global change as opposed to buying soccer teams.

But there's a global shift happening, right?

My friend, a bright little thing who flings sparkly bits of knowledge around like confetti, says it's all about the shift from the Piscean age to the Aquarian age. The Piscean age was one of competition, achievement and individuality. The Aquarian age will be one of group awareness, equality and care. Hence action on environment etc. Astrology rocks.

I've decided to get involved - to engage myself like Mr Studzinski (just on an acorn / oak tree level).

I think Gates / Buffet / Studzinski have all realised that money is not the motivation... They've realised the value in helping others.

And it's highlighted one of my blockages.

How To Survive Your 20's is not my financial future. It is the future for 20somethings everywhere.

That was quite a breakthrough.

But how to get to such a stage?

I need to connect properly with my reader - to really work on what 20somethings are fearful of so I can provide relevant advice. I need to channel all my energy into writing something helpful to others.

Only then will the end product have the authenticity and integrity required.

I've realised I don't really know 20somethings, I just know my friends. Great people, but only representative of a small part of society.

Rather than appear from nowhere, How To Survive Your 20's needs to grow from a seed... I can only write helpfully for 20somethings if I have already helped 20somethings.

Starting small, with maybe just 1 or 2 people in my local community, I will get to know the needs of my readers by connecting with them personally... and helping them.

I have contacts... wealthy friends... marketing expertise... and a great team of people around me... And, crucially, I've realised I care about people.

The name for this new work?

Seeing as it has been inspired by a global shift in actions, and taking my cue from my astrologically aware friend, I started to consider what might work.

Universal astrological opinion says that life moves in 7-year cycles.

The cycle we are in during our 20's? The 5th.

Mission statement:

'The 5th Cycle is a new foundation set up to facilitate growth, fulfilment and vitality among people in their 20's, providing a platform to genesise inspired thought, effective action and global transformation.'

The perfect platform from which to manifest my writing dreams.

Writing time: 7 hours

Manifestation: 100%

Day 71,72,73 - advanced progress

OK, been on huge mind expansion trip for 3 days.

Landmark - The Advanced Course. Quite simply the most explosive 'real' experience I have ever had.

Net result?

Watch the manifestation unravel.

But 'be the change' and all that doesn't really suffice.

Key break outs?

- Inifinite possibility

- New intellectual reserves discovered, time to apply them

- Desire dropped

- Inautheniticty dropped

- I am already transforming the world and will continue to do so

- I am already living the dream

- This process begins the moment i open my mouth or pick up my pen or start typing

- Fear and excitement are identical

- LIfe for 'me' is meaningless - life for others is key

- Reality is NOW, there is nothing else

Time to manifest my possibilities!

I need to get to know my reader - the launch of a new project will be detailed in the coming weeks.

It's not a departure - rather it will feed and fuel the manifestation of How To Survive Your 20's.

It's name?

The 5th Cycle.

Writing time: zero

Development / transformation time: 72 hours

Manifestation: 1000%

Day 70 - is nirpal reading this?

I may be suffering from acute paranoia here, which would not be surprising in the wake of Vegas, but journalist Nirpal Dhaliwal seems to be reacting to my blog in his articles in the Evening Standard.

It's happened 3 times in the last month or so - I emailed him (with a link to the blog) a while back and asked him to front up on his opinions re the drug trade following an article of his, but no response...

Then he wrote some similar things as I had about David Cameron – 2 days after I wrote them.

Then he talked about how nightmarish the London property market was after I did.

Maybe we are just both annoyed at the same things.

Anyway, yesterday he berated the culture of self-help, which he blames for his father's descent into depression. His father went bankrupt and became a self-help junkie apparently, never reclaiming his former success...

Nirpal blames self-help for giving his father false hopes and dreams.

This led me to do a bit of research on Nirpal.

His marriage has just collapsed due to his infidelities… He is now living in a small room in an apartment block in Shoreditch… His first novel, published lat year, is about a guy who relies on his wife for financial support while writing his novel and sleeping with lots of other women (which he readily admits is semi auto biographical)… His first novel has not sold particularly well… He seems to be pretty much down on his luck…

Added to this, Nirpal’s articles are diatribes on whatever is annoying him on that particular day. Real vective.

Nirpal’s life, many on the internet say, has turned into a bit of a joke. He was always wandering aloud when his marriage would end, and now it has. I think the problem is that Nirpal’s writing is so good – so readable and so achingly hip, ‘honest’ and cool, that he is trapped by what his editors want.

Inside, I reckon Nirpal is crying out… Yet still he hates self-help, which holds so many of the answers. He symbolises the youthful ‘island mentality’ which keeps people from realising their full potential. But his father and he now get on better than ever and are close.

It all makes me wonder…

What might have happened to Nirpal's father had there not been any self-help?

Writing time: 3 hours

Manifestation: 90% due to nirpal's negativity

Day 69 - heavyweights slug it out to avoid 'homespun philosophy'

There is a guy who tried to hit on a girl here in London by sending her pictures of himself dressed up as a cowboy, with his thoughts and meditations on life written below... Unimpressed, his love interest forwarded the email, which went round the world several times...

And the press are accusing the hapless young turk of 'homepsun philosophy'.

The phrase sends a shiver down my spine.

As this week is dedicated to Heroes, I’ve been reading up on Lao Tzu… He wrote the Tao Te Ching at some point between the 5th&3rd centuries… and it’s still a spiritual bestseller.

Here’s to How To Survive Your 20’s enjoying similar success over the next 2500 years or so.

You could call Lao Tzu the Original Guru. The genesis of self-help.

But – I realised the other day when I wrote that my readers will prefer the likes of Lao Tzu to the likes of Anthony Robbins that I hadn’t really ever read any Anthony Robbins… So I’ve been reading him too.

Robbins is the giant of modern self-help.

But rather than notice the similarities between Lao and Tony (my new peers), I am confused by the acute differences in their fundamental approach, and I am wandering which path How To Survive Your 20’s should take…

Who speaketh the truth?

In a nutshell:

Lao Tzu is the zen master - he invented Yin and Yang, and believes that the Tao (the intelligent timeless spirit governing the universe) will take care of everything for us, that we should flow around obstacles – and not strive or struggle - that we should wait for the right moment – 'give up and you will succeed' etc.

Anthony Robbins believes we need to exert our own authority on life – the subtitle of his book ‘Awaken The Giant Within’ is ‘how to take control of your mental, emotional, physical and financial destiny’. Robbins’ worships 10-year plans – goal setting – he believes change happens in an instant.

Which path to take as the more beneficial for my readers?

I am finding much peace and progress from stillness at the moment – meditation, yoga, writing itself. And synchronistic things are happening for me. Which would indicate Lao Tzu was my guy.

But Robbins lives in the modern world. Robbins is attuned to the fact that our world is one of competition. Sit back and someone else will seize your opportunities. You know that Robbins has done it – you know his way worked for him, and you know it happened recently.

Should I really ask a 20something to sit back and relax and wait for the universe to deliver whatever it sees fit? It’s hard to imagine Lao Tzu as anything other than a character in an Ang Lee film, probably played by Chow Yun Fat, with Gong Li / Zhang Ziyi as the love interest… Sitting in a palace of wisdom in the orient… and all going on a very, very long time ago.

But that’s what appeals to my readers...

I guess Lao Tzu was directly in tune with the universe in its purest form, whereas Robbins’ theories correspond with its current state... Which let's face it is not all that pleasant.

Is Lao out of the matrix and Tony in it?

In fact, is Tony a part of the matrix?! His book begins with him in a jet helicopter, looking down on a 10,000 seat arena full of his fans, and he sees the building he used to work in as a janitor! And he realises - this is it! He's won! Success at last.

That's not really where I'm at.

Plus Lao’s stuff is written in the language of the universe as opposed to ‘American’, which is truly the only place that Tony’s force field could have originated.

That’s what makes his stuff work so well – he dramatically improves normal lives (not to mention abnormal ones – presidents and movie stars seek out his guidance). He doesn’t want to get people out of the matrix he wants to get them to the top of it… He is working within the system.

Whereas I am trying to appeal to extraordinary young people. And Lao is just so much more... appealing. There is something of the 'head of school' about Tony.

I need to be somewhere between the two, leaning toward Lao- maybe 80% Lao and 20% Tony – leaving the matrixesque parts of Robbins behind and accelerating Tzu to the pace of modern life…

Whatever, I guess I am just petrified of being accused of ‘homespun philosophy’.

Lao Tzu to the rescue.

Writing time: 6 hours

Manifestation: 100%

Day 68 - let me clarify

I guess what I wanted to say in yesterday's rambling blog is that as I get older, I still have as many heroes as I ever did, but I don't actually want to be them anymore.

Because being me feels too good.

Finding what you love doing, and starting to do it, is enough - I have become who I want to be (if not quite what I want to be), thus I no longer want to be anyone else...

Not even my heroes.

And that feeling is so empowering, that I finally realise I can be a hero / guru to others.

I am that powerful (we all are - we just don't know it). And I think that realisation will have a huge effect on my writing. It feels like all the doubt has been removed, or rather, I have realised there was no reason to doubt in the first place...

Lightbulbs flashing all over the place at this end.

I think this may be my finest manifestation yet.

Writing time: 7 hours

Manifestation: 100%

Day 67 - MJ's legacy

We're sticking with the Hero theme.

At the request of 33% of my readership (B), I have been considering what type of hero i would like to be.

I feel no shame in writing this: I want to be a hero.

And it occurs to me that this whole blog has elements of superhero to it... Anonymous... Masked... Performing seemingly magical tasks.

But in these increasingly enlightened days I can quite stand just being me.

Actually, whom am I kidding?

I want to be something better. There I said it - kaizen and all that. Better, stronger, more influential, more confident and more interesting. Richer too.

I wanna help people - my purpose has to help others as well as myself.

My heroes are a case in point. A mixture of helpers / teachers, sports stars, anti heroes, poets, writers, puritans, degenerates and politicians.

I think one thing they all have in common are they all started out 'ordinary', if there is such a thing. In fact, having taken a 30second reflective period at the beginning of this sentence, I think by definition, in order to mean something extraordinary to me, you need to start ordinary. Take airline bosses - such a mundane type of hero when you consider the pantheon of greatness we have to choose from. But Stelios, the Greek billionaire owner of Easyjet (omnipresent budget euro carrier), will never be extraordinary because we all know his father is a shipping billionaire, which is a hell of a head start in life. But Richard Branson started out with nothing (certainly not billions anyway) - his first business was a student newspaper, his second a record shop. And now Virgin Atlantic. That is extraordinary.

Anyway, I digress.

What type of hero do i want to be?

I remember not so far back reading a long interview about Viggo Mortensen (in the dreaded Sunday times, again!), who played Aragorn (big time hero) in the Lord Of The Rings trilogy. Mortensen came across as mystical and spiritual, but the feckless hack doing the interview (and clearly having a hard time getting anything usable) covertly slagged him off throughout the article, and concluded that all Mortensen really wanted was to 'be a hero', clearly implying there was something wrong with such ambitions.

That's the problem - all my angst is summed up there. The cynics of this world - so firmly in the matrix - are programmed to ridicule aspirations toward things such as heroism. Imagine - all the readers of that article (over 4m people if you believe the figures) were left with the impression that it was 'sad' or 'uncool' to want to be a hero.

What a negative, destructive effect on the world - one sentence sending so many scurrying back to the safety of their little rock-pool lives, away from the wonders of the big blue ocean... I am the king of analogy.

Journalists!

Everyone should want to be a hero.

I guess in my youth I wanted to be a sports star. Or maybe a superhero of some description... Which is kinda what i am trying to be via this blog I think. But as I hit 30 I realise both these might suck...

Why? Because I wouldn't be being myself.

Being a sports star really does not appeal. Money good, everything else bad.

And Spiderman's difficult love life, and whether or not to be spidey or peter parker, are well publicised - I already have enough conflict in my life without having a mankind saving alter ego to slip into at night. Batman has similar problems. Bruce Wayne? Classic case of money can't buy happiness.

BUT - are there parallels with my own current existence here?

Here I am, aged 30, deciding what kind of hero i want to be.

Writing an anonymous, masked blog every day... Posing as the person I actually want to become... Maybe all I need to do is continue doing what I am doing and everything will manifest in front of me as The Secret suggests...?

Maybe I'm already there?

Then why would I hide?

I guess this blog is anonymous because I am still figuring out exactly what I am going to be, and exactly what this book is going to be. There will come a time, soon I think, where I will be happy to face cross examination on my mission and my product.

And when that time comes I guess I will have to do this blog for real - as the real me.

But the key to both these things is I already am that person - I'm just undiscovered. And as yet unfinished. A work in progress, just like my blog. And what the universe is teaching me is whatever is meant to be is meant to be... As long as I trust in my path and continue to do the necessary work, I will be discovered when the time is right. And following that, I will unveil myself to the world via a new blog (possibly my book) when I am ready to face whatever inquisition might come my way.

Rather like a superhero, my mask will come off.

And I will be that person - me - the same person I have been all along. It's just that everyone else will know about it.

Emerson said: 'We all but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents'.

Not this one.

As Martin Luther King said 'Here I stand, I can do no other.'

I know I'm doing something different - and it may be that it is my public metamorphosis into enlightenment that is what propels me into success.

So I guess it's difficutl for me to say which hero I would like to be, because I already am who I want to be.

I'm already a Hero.

It's just not quite time for anyone else to realise that.

I'm a hero in my own proverbial lunch hour - for now.

Writing time: 6 hours

Manifestation: 100%

Day 65 & 66 - neo's place in history

Prodigious writing going on at this end - all day Saturday and Sunday - it feels good.

This is a Sunday blog - a real thought drain that you may find very boring.

Heroes, popular ones, that's where my head's at.

More and more of How To Survive Your 20's centres around escaping the matrix (treadmill, system, real life), using the film's own hero Neo as an example of just what is possible once that feat has been achieved - anything.

But how many people will Neo resonate with?

Possibly just the sci fi boffins and film buffs among us... so it's time to diversify from my main hero into other mythological figures who my readers will sympathise with.

20somethings, that is.

All good heroes start at the beginning of their journey / quest / mission as relatively normal folk. Frodo Baggins a case in point. But Frodo is a bad example of a 'hero'. Short, huge ears and with little sex appeal, he ain't for my readers even though personally I consider him one of literature's pluckiest big time heroes. 20somethings don't really dig Tolkien, other than as a Christmas day family flick.

Joseph Campbell comes to mind - deceased obsessor of mythological figures and no less than George Lucas' inspiration behind the green and great Yoda. Yoda is an excellent hero - and one the 20something will strongly identify with - time to watch all 6 parts again, darn. But Campbell believed that everyone had the right to be a hero of some kind. Neo is a case in point - starting out as a lowly IT wizard, he escapes the matrix, defeats the machines and saves the human race. But he doesn't do it for the attention, he reluctantly does it because Morpheus recruits him and he has no choice.

Similarly, if you choose to identify yourself with the warrior Arjuna from the Bhagavad-Gita, it is because that particular hero has found and resonated with you as Neo has with me.

Identifying with a hero is not an inflation of our ego, but rather a realisation that we have much to learn from a particular character.

So it's time to compile a list of heroes that I can draw on to form the ancient wisdom at the core of my book.

Neo and Yoda are great starts. But Morpheus may prove a stronger option than Neo from The Matrix.

Self-help itself has some proper heroes. Lao Tzu rocked with some seriously radical thinking as far back as 5th century BC. Marcus Aurelius said 'accept only that which comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny' in the 2nd century. Boethius realised the worthlessness of most material things in the 6th.

It is these guys as opposed to the Robin Sharma's and Anthony Robbin's of this world that my readers will dig.

But they need modern counterparts.

The footballer philosopher Eric Cantona could be one of them - but he is French and my primary market is american. They won't get it.

For the time being I am going with Yoda, Morpheus, Li Mu Bai from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and the ancient dudes.

Hmmm. Some real people may prove useful in my search for credibility. But real heroes such as Cantona aren’t mythological... the great things about characters is that they have been created by great minds - thus they always transcend their human counterparts...

George Lucas / Campbell with Yoda. The Wachowski brothers (matrix dudes) with Morpheus and Neo. Ang Lee with Li Mu Bai (from him to gay cowboys? what next? lesbianic Martians?)

So why doesn't the modern world have top quality minds like Lao Tzu, Aurelius and Boethius?

We do. I just haven't been published yet. Actually, I am about to press 'publish', so cancel that.

Discovered is a better word. I haven't been discovered.

It is time, I feel.

My destiny awaits.

I am feeling very strong about this week.

Heroic in fact.

Writing time: Hours and hours and hours

Manifestation: 100% (I’m back.)

Day 64 - in search of new terminology

After an awesome day of writing I've hit a blank.

Given that people, especially 20somethings, are so turned off by the stigma attached to self-help, I am stuck with a conundrum.

My target audience are not committed self-helpers - quite the opposite. They are disillusioned with self-help in the extreme. As I have said before, they wouldn’t be seen dead in the 'mind, body and soul' section.

And I've been lazy in recent blogs - I keep referring to myself as a future self-help guru... And as I write How To Survive Your 20's, and the book's manifestation continues at speed, I realise that I am never really going to be that - it's just the closest thing out there.

In Vegas, one of my friends who I hadn't seen for a while was asking what I was up to. I told him about the project and he thought I was perfect to write it. But as the term 'self-help' crept into the conversation a little too often, he suddenly stopped me in mid flow, laughing his ass off.

He chortled: 'You can write this book for sure - a XXX survival manual on your 20's - but you can't be a self-help guru!'

'Why not?' I asked indignantly, but kinda already knowing the answer.

He laughed and gestured to our surroundings. We were wasted on day 2 of our bachelor party, on a rooftop bar overlooking the strip, and surrounded by whisky, vodka, champagne and girls. 'Because you haven't got there yet! You have to help yourself before you can help others. Gimme a break!'

You can always rely on your frineds for a bit of honesty.

I saw his point. How can you be a self-help guru when drugs and alcohol are in your life? But maybe you can. As long as you are improving, right? Maybe you can appeal to people who are also trying to get out of the vicious circle... The conversation continued, and we concluded that there was a new area of the self-help market to be conquered: Go for the people who don't consider themselves in need of help, but who actually need it more than anyone else.

The obvious catch being that they are the hardest to get to.

And the 20something falls very neatly into that bracket.

We concluded (as has B in her comments on this blog), that self-help needs to be re-invented for these people before it can be attractive for them...

So I need an umbrella phrase, a new terminology...

The book is full of completely new self-help directives... No chapters called 'get in the moment'... None called 'the power of being'... No 'self love above all else'.

It's a little harder hitting than that. Chapter titles include 'arresting your development', 'escaping the matrix', 'how to quit with dignity', 'drop out now', 'the time is high' and 'the art of deceleration'. Which, while drawing on the well of universal knowledge that forms all self-help, are not exactly conventional guidelines for the work / life balance generation.

How can a self-help book possibly accept drugs and alcohol? But mine has to - because all my readers indulge in them. And so do I.

So it's not self-help, as we know it.

But just what the hell is it?

Answers on a postcard.

Writing time: 6 hours

Manifestation: 99% (final residues from Vegas preventing me from full marks)

Day 62 - british press coming round?

It's taking time to get my head back on London time after Vegas. Man - that place really spun me out.

Anyway, I was thrilled to see some positivity in a British newspaper - The Sunday Times no less, serial basher of The Secret and all things positive.

Shane Watson delivers her own, acutely boring and uninspiring version of self-help. It's actually quite amusing. She clearly believes in all things 'The Secret', but clearly has no idea how to put this across in her column without breaking the current code of British cynicism.

Her pearls of happiness / wisdom include:

- Let a car out of a side road with a smile, not a flap of the hand and a 'hurry up, you loser' expression
- Talk to an old lady in the queue at the supermarket
- Smile at people
- Say hello to people you come into contact with

HOW ABOUT THAT GUYS! I give you self-help done 'British'.

Actually SAY HELLO TO PEOPLE!

I mean, if everyone followed these rules, wouldn't the world be the most fantastic place. I mean, the thought had never occurred to me to talk to an old lady - in the supermarket of all places. I must try this liberating, happiness inducing experience. Of course I am being sarcastic - like most people I have always spoken to old ladies in supermarkets, because I am not afflicted with that awful affliction 'Britishness'.

But it does re-affirm my decision to move stateside. All you American guys offering such awesome comments recently (thank you thank you) can now see what I am faced with. It's plain to see that a work such as The Secret is streets ahead of anything out there on the market, and it bugs brits to see something do so well 'over here' that is from 'over there'.

I mean, to become a self-help guru in this country, god knows where you would have to start. In fact, here are my 5 directives for a new book idea - 'Self Help for Brits':

1) Don’t kill anyone today, it feels really good
2) Try not to be unfaithful to your partner - for a whole week
3) If you don't tell anyone to f**k off for a whole day, your world will be a happier place
4) Rape - avoid it wherever possible because it is against the law
5) Remember you are British and thus more important than other species - always behave in this manner

However, I would wager that Watson's article is a result of a feature's meeting at The Sunday Times where it was fully recognised that there has not been ONE positive piece of publicity about the BEST SELLING DVD and book title of 2007.

Now how can that be?

Are all those people wrong?

Nope.

I'm so looking forward to America.

Writing time: 5 hours (first acceptable workload for a week due to Vegas and house move)

Manifestation: 95%

Day 57-61 - viva las vegas?

So I hit 30 in Vegas on Saturday in some style.

I’d read an article about Vegas headlined: ‘When a big fight comes to town, Las Vegas, with its bookies, hookers, and hustlers, is in its element.’

That has certainly been proved true – this weekend saw pretty much the biggest boxing match ever – Floyd Mayweather v Oscar de la Hoya. Black America vs Hispanic America.

And Las Vegas hit the heights, taking us along with it.

It’s actually quite difficult to describe the scale of Vegas – the limos, the hotels, the prices and the people are the biggest in the world.

And my friends and me have pretty much seen it all over the past few days. We had a local born ‘chaperone’ who helped us uncover the shadier corners and see the real Vegas – he came highly recommended and didn’t disappoint as one of the sleaziest people I’ve ever come across. But hey, he knew his way around.

But I can’t say his magical mystery tour was all that pretty.

In ‘the real Vegas’ it actually seemed difficult to meet a girl who wasn’t a hooker or a guy who didn’t play some role in the supply of drugs. They all party all day and all night. And they can all get you whatever you want. They all survive and prosper on helping visitors to Vegas get their kicks. And they all have the same hardened humour – the same air of desperation. Even though they all have cash, and a lot of it, it is cash drenched in the filth of Vegas.

It is hard to ignore the feeling that Vegas is essentially America’s last chance saloon. Its where people ‘end up’. Officially the suicide capital of America, it is a veritable drain of humanity.

And that played on my mind too much to really enjoy it - humanity shouldn't have a drain - it should have a skylight.

Which, while we had some wild times, saw some great sights and experienced some awesome nightlife, infuses the whole experience with a feeling exploitation.

You feel bad for everyone there – all the time.

But most of all, I feel bad for the people there now I am back in London.

Which is making the comedown somewhat more emotional than usual.

To think that some of the people I met there – hustlers, who were genuinely cool and fun, are still there – probably forever – is depressing. Party town it maybe. Home it should never be.

But while meeting the locals, I detected an inescapable feeling. And it was only on my way home I decided what it was - camaraderie. They stick together to survive and piece together the closest thing they can get to happiness. There’s no sense of family so they create their own.

At the end of it all – this, my last bender – I discovered one really life-affirming thing. Las Vegas has a heart.

I wish everyone their a lot of luck and a bit of love.

I hope they get out alive.

Writing time: zero

Manifestation: 0%

Day 56 - destination vegas

Apologies - my web access has seriously sucked for the past week.

Quit panicking. I have not decided that Las Vegas is the best location to become a self- help guru.

I am off to celebrate my 30th birthday, combined with a friend’s bachelor party.

As I write this on a Virgin flight full of fairly undesirable human beings, not least my own friends with whom I partied till 3am and had my first beer at 9am this morning.

Feelings of trepidation and apprehension abound.

What exactly am I doing going to Vegas for a 4 day bender when I am supposed to be manifesting my future as a best selling self-help guru? An unseemly paradox if ever there was one.

Is it even possible to have drugs and alcohol in your life (as they clearly will be over the next 4 days) while trying to do this?

So why not just give them up? That is exactly what I intend to do. But as we have seen, there is little point in attempting this in London. I am too close to my friends, too unable to say ‘no’. Hence the previously blogged move to America in June.

In fact, sitting here on this plane I have resolved to make Vegas ‘The Last Weekend’. I really have no desire anymore to go without sleep for periods of time previously used in WW2 as methods of torture. It used to appeal. Now it detracts from every part of my life. Vegas is a goodbye to a lifestyle that has halted my progression.

So Vegas is the last bender.

A fitting way to kiss goodbye to my 20’s – a decade of destruction and disobedience, degradation and defamation, drunkenness and dalliance.

Following Vegas, the final run in to spending some time in America – the land of opportunity.

But first I must deal with the job in hand.

Stewardess? Drinks please.

Let’s make it a good one.

PS: I just finished watching Scorsese’s The Departed. Great quote from Jack Nicholson to an Irish guy in a bar:

Jack: ‘How's your Daddy?’

Irish: ‘He’s dyin’ Francis.’

Jack: ‘We all are – act accordingly’.

Quite.

Writing time: 3 hours

Manifestation: 50% due to forthcoming bender

Day 55 - where to next?

Major decisions being made.

I am surrounded by negativity in England. Little Birtain focusses so completely on what can't be done it is a wonder anything was ever accomplished - anywhere. I mean - we destroyed the Spanish armada, won two world wars, had the world's biggest empire for god's sake.

But - that is all in the past. I have concluded the Little Britain today is a travesty of a nation - a collection of lilly livered politicians, unbearable chavs, hopelssly negative matrix-dwelling middle classers, non-sensical upper class egits, peppered with a new class of ridiculous billionaires taking over the capital. American billionaires are so much better than ours. Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are leading the charge to give away their billions to people who truly need it - a finer example of the global shift from individual to collective responsibility I have never seen.

So - once the flat sale goes through (i can hear you sniggering), I am going to get the hell out of here for a while. And I have now had 5 majorly synchronisitic pointers towards the Americas.

But where to land? Where to start my invasion?

New York? Too distracting.

LA? Too fake.

Miami? Too much of all the above.

San Francisco? Hmmmmm.

It's the current favourite. Huge literary scene. Successful. Healthy. Not as expensive as NYC.

BUT... late entry - Toronto.

Apparently there is big writing stuff going on up there...

But Canada?...

I am looking for a sign. It will come from stillness.

San Fancisco did.

Any suggestions?

Writing time: 4 hours

Manifestation: 90%

Days 52, 53, 54 - more secret bashing

OK, I've been off the radar for a few days, attempting to move house, write, juggle parental commitments and get love life back on track.

I have accomplished none of the above. As a man, my multi tasking skills are woeful, and I have managed to drop the whole juggling match.

Never mind - I must keep foucssed on the task in hand.

The Sunday Times is the latest 'respectable' publication to print a load of negative, cynical, stiff upper lip british tripe about The Secret.

Bizzarely dubbing it 'The Creed of Greed', a hack named Sally Brampton has torn into the film as 'kindergarten psychology', 'garbage', 'hyperbole' and sums up The Secret by saying 'You want a great life? Lie to yourself. Reinvent. Play make believe. As a summary of this book, it's perfect. In a word, delusional'.

I had a conversation with a freind of mine in the states the other day who laughed when I told him of our media's viewpoint: 'THAT SUMS YOU GUYS UP!' he howled.

That's because most people in Amercia knows that The Secret, in it's purest form, works perfectly. The whole goddamn country was built using it.

Whereas America has not a great deal of history, thus it has no real past which distorts it's present day view of events. Hence anything is possible.

But we brits have centuries of ridiculous traditions and conventions, the house of lords, the church, the monarchy, all keeping our present day views as fettered with clutter and sarcasm as they possibly could be, ending up in the kind of middle aged, middle england journalism you see above.

The bottom line is The Secret is backed up by cutting edge quantum physics and science. Problem is, cutting edge science isn't usually backed up by the scientific community at large until all doubt about a theory has gone flying out of the window. And that can take years, or never happen at all.

As someone using The Secret on a daily basis, I can also tell you in works. And that I am putting it to the test on the biggest stage imaginable - the internet.

When is someone going to sit up and take notice of someone with the balls to see if it really works? As opposed to a bunch of lemon sucking brit journo's with nothing better to do than slag off a creation they haven't tried out, that has clearly captured the attention and imagination of the whole darn world?!

Yrs, waiting to be discovered.

MJ

X

PS: America beckons - the negativity is cloying here.

Writing time: 2 hours

Manifestation: 75% due to negative crap from mediocre journalists

Day 51 - when to reach stillness?

I caught up with my best friend yesterday - for the first time in weeks - and the first time since my retreat over easter.

He's a stockbroker, but quite spiritual and supportive of my new life with no short term income.

At the end of my part of the catch up, he asked me a really good question:

'If I start on this spritual journey like you have, my deepest fear is that I become content with not quite accomplishing what I know I want in life, because I will realise it doesn't mean all that much. I'm afraid I will lose my edge. Is this so?'

I laughed. And not just becasue he appears to be chasing things that he already knows aren't of any importance.

Take a minute to think about how absurd that is.

I laughed because it reminded me of a line I read in Eckart Tolle's book The Power of Now, after the realisation that he just wanted to 'be': 'I had no relationships, no home, no socially defined identity. I spent almost 2 years sitting on park benches in a state of most intense joy'.

At the time of reading that it really made me think.

When I started out on this journey, I jumped in at the deep end. I decided not to return to work for a monthly paycheck, downsized my flat and put money in the bank to fund the project, and underwent some fairly hardcore personal development and group awareness therapy. The writing of my book played second fiddle to this stuff for a while.

And more than a few times during that work, I brushed with the realistion that nothing really means anything in this world. Nothing at all. Things might mean something to you, or mean something to me, because we have attached meaning to them. But saying something 'means something to me' does not mean that it 'means something' in the universal sense. Ghandi means something to 500millions indian people for whom he changed the course of the future. But some people in south america have never even heard of him, so he means nothing to them. Thus he doesn't mean anything universally.

And it occured to me, each time I realised this, that all the striving in life, the struggle to attain what you want and have what you want have to happen, is pointless. You may as well just go with the flow and, in the words of Marcus Aurelius 'accept only what comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny'.

But for young men like my friend and myself, enlightening as this realisation might be, it represents a significant danger to our future. Because all those things we are striving for - me with the writing of my book and him with his deals in the city
- mean soemthing to us. And they mean something to our families and friends.

Which is why neither of us wants to end up like Tolle - sitting on a park benches feeling ridiculously happy with absolutely nothing to show for it.

Way before my chat with best friend, I was mulling over this on my way to my retreat over easter and resolved to ask the shaman who was leading the week what his view was.

'Shaman, one of my fears is the extent to which i have 'seen the light' during all this self stuff. It has caused me once or twice to question if any of my work or ambition is necessary at all. If I carry on exploring the rabbit hole of our existence, will I conclude Tolle is right to sit on park benches all day, and end up sitting on my own park benches, feeling fine and dandy, and never accomplishing anything?'

'That is the end result, yes.' replied the shaman solemnly.

'I'm not sure how I feel about that.'

'It needn't worry you just yet', the shaman said, smiling, 'it takes a bloody long time to get there.'

I laughed.

The shaman went on to me that because i had created such meaning in my world and thus held such things dear, that is the world in which i should stay. And if i was to stay in that world with my friends and family, who gave me such happiness, I would need to earn a living and pay my way, and thus that was why i 'wanted' and 'strived' with my writing.

'But' he said - 'therein lies the key to all this. If you must do things in life, in order to fund your surroundings and your lifestyle - make that journey of 'doing' enjoyable. Your purpose is your happiness in many ways. It will ensure that you genuinely love yourself and love what you are doing in order so that you can love everything else in your life, and never start to resent it for keeping you from the aforementioned state of nirvana - because you are there anyway'.

I realised then that simply following your heart and your dreams is nirvana.

I told this to my friend and we concluded that it all came down to balance.

And now I realise that i can safely pursue this zen like state, happy in the knowledge that it is many years away, and that the journey will be truly amazing for me, as i write my way towards the ultimate destination.

But I also have to say that I am looking forward to spending some days - maybe even many days, perhaps in 20 years or so, simply sitting on a park bench feeling unbridled, ecstatic joy.

And not feeling the need to do anything at all.

That appeals hugely.

Writing time: 6 hours

Manifestation: 100%

Day 50 - progress audit mk2

OK, time to take stock of where I am with things.

Just 11 days until my 30th birthday. It doesn't look like my book deal will be in place by then.

BUT - who cares about time? Time is one of the biggest illusions of all.

Will I really be any different whatsoever when I turn 30?

No.

I'll just have a new label. And labels, very much like time, are totally meaningless.

I would say the manifestation of How To Survive Your 20's continues at good speed. Maybe not as fast as I hoped, but truly I now realise that the journey itself is the destination - and that is key to completing good work.

I also realise much much more about the way the world works than when I started 50 days ago. You've got to slow down to speed up. It's so important to react to synchronistic events. Things that happen to us happen for a reason. And positive thought and Kaizen rule.

I have 3 weeks left of my writing course, at the end of which I will have a book proposal to show to publishers. As long as I fill those 3 weeks with as much good work and positive thought as is humanly possible, and ignore the difficulties that life presents me with, I feel I have enough material now to really present my case for a publisher in an authoritarian, unique manner. That should be possible - potential house move and trip vegas to celebrate 30th aside.

Vegas is starting to feel like a major thorn in the side of my progress. 'It's only 3 days' i keep telling myself.

But let's look further into my blog and the rationale for setting out on this project in the first place. I am aiming to put The Secret to the test. To ask, believe and recieve that my work will be published and I become a bestseller.

I believe in these mantras more than ever. There are so many signs that they are conspiring to help me.

So I was again dissapointed to see another British newspaper, the Evening Standard, slagging The Secret off yesterday.

Laura Craik, who used to be the fashion dolly for the paper, has taken a dislike to it after her single girlfriends told her to get a copy of the book. She kinda implies that all single girls are self help junkies, and also gets nicely smug about the fact that she is s) in a relationship and b) so busy toiling at work that she has to order a copy from amazon as opposed to trot down ken high street to get a copy from waterstone's. Craik says that watching paint dry is more interesting and The Secret is 'quacky'.

She closes her tirade against The Secret by saying 'if you want spiritual enlightenment, try the church. Or failing that, the bottom of a beer glass. The Secret? There isn't one. The Truth? Life's a bitch and then you die.'

Now, surely even the most hard nosed sceptics can see how sad, bitter and plain unnattractive that piece of journalism actually is?

I mean, the church for goodness's sake? In these times, how out of tune is that? And as for the bottom of a beer glass, maybe that is where Craik finds herself all too often. Craik looks as tight lipped as her writing suggests, and again I would like to ask why almost every mainstream UK media title has now ranted against The Secret as a 'quacky money making scheme'. And none of the 'journalists' even put The Sercet to the test!!! How can they claim to be providing a good service to their readers if they make such huge negative assumptions?

I say it again: Why not simply start publishing exerpts from this blog every day and put The Secret to the test properly, by someone who genuinely believes it will work?

All this negativity makes progress difficult. Constantly having moments of doubt instilled in me by the media just sucks. Not just for me but for eveyone that Craik so despises who uses The Secret to great effect.

It's whiny, cynical, destructive and plain British.

Conversely, America has embraced The Secret with open arms. Oprah has done 2 one hour specials on it. It is top of the NY Times bestseller list. The DVD has sold 2million copies. They even gave it away in the goody bags on Oscar night - a sure fire sign that the establishment has bought into it.

It's a classic sign of America's strengths winning over British weaknesses.

We are so negative as a nation. Our first instinct is to say why we can't do something. America's is to say why they can.

My progress continues in this most difficult environment, but surrounded by such negativity and cynicism it is tough.

I am starting to feel that the answer may lie elswhere.

Many synchronistic things have recently pointed me to America.

I may start to react to them soon.

Writitng time: 4 hours

Manifestation: 90%

Days 47, 48, 49 - the property test

Another interesting development on the property front.

At the 11th hour, just one day before we were due to exchange, my buyer announces he is 70 large ones short of his offer. Nice timing, thanks pal.

Cue cancelling of all house move plans at just 24 hours notice, and a weekend of acute worry and stress over the potential disastrous loss of my onward purchase, not to mention the money from the sale.

Except I now realise that acute worry and stress is going to deliver precisely nothing to my life, indeed it will probably result in negative manifestations.

I am therefore looking upon this most testing of weeks as a mere test in my power to stick to my path with total faith. I must not waiver.

The buyer has another 7days to come up with the money, or I run a mile with his nice fat deposit. But it's all a bit of an illusion because I now owe that fat deposit to my onward purchase.

In times such as these, it seems that faith in the universe and mother nature to provide me with all i want in this life can seem a little... whacky. But I shall stick to the plan and watch the manifestation happen around me.

However, the manifestation of my bestselling book is not exactly speeding up - my intention to free up a bit of capital to allow me time to write without restriction has been ripped to pieces by my bulshitting buyer. It's not just my house sale that may fall apart - it is my intentions and dreams as well.

But - if i focus on the negativity that is what will manifest - so positive thinking and feeling good is a must all this week.

Stay tuned for a full assesment of my progress so far on Day 50 - living the dream?

Writing time: not enough due to uncertainty around house move.

Manifestation: 75%

Day 47 - going with the flow

It's funny how mothers are sometimes proved right in the long run. Stuff they know about, they know about.

If i had a pound for everytime mine had told me to 'slow down' over the years i would be a very wealthy man.

And that is precisely what i have resolved to do - on the advice of my mom, and countless help gurus.

We all know how different somthing feels when it is 'right' or 'meant to be' to when it is 'wrong'. This is called alignment. Alignment with the universe and alignment with your destiny.

Being in alignment is something I am really feeling at the moment.

But the thing is, it requires certian measures are taken to ensure that I stay in this good space. The first being that I am in alignment not only with what I am here to do, but also with the how nature and the universe intends me to accomplish it.

Life shouldn't be a struggle. Every moment should be as it should be. The minute you try and force something to happen the blockages come up and you are out of alignment. That is why people at work, with intense deadlines to meet, are so strtessed and unhappy. They are always meeting deadlines that do nothing for them - other peoples deadlines. That is what makes them unhappy. They have no alignment. They may be rich but so what? If there's one thing we all know to be true it is that their money can't buy them happiness (which is all any of us really wants when you strip it down - the Dalai Lama says this is so).

I mean, let's look at 5 of the biggest self gurus of all time, and their thoughts on slowing down and going with the flow:

One of the Grandaddy's of self help, Lao Tzu, in the Tao Te Ching, 3rd century BC: 'Flow around obstacles, don't confront them. Don't struggle to succeed. Wait for the right moment.'

The modern guru, Deepak Chopra: 'The 4th spiritual law of success is the law of least effort. This is the principle of least action, of no resistance... When we learn this lesson from nature, we easily fulfill our desires.'

The corporate guru, Richard Koch (80/20 principle): 'The 80/20 principle, like the truth, can make you free. You can work less. At the same time, you can earn and enjoy more.'

Bill Clinton's guru, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounded Meehee Chick-sent-meehee), and modern master of all things 'flow': 'Flow helps to integrate the self because in that state of deep concentration - going with the flow - conciousness is unusually well ordered.' (That must be why i feel everyone else is mad, whereas i feel totally normal! My conciousness is ordered. Theirs is muddled!)

Thomas Moore, who spent a year at the top of the NYTimes bestseller list: 'Soul cannot thrive in a fast paced life because being affected, taking things in and chewing on them, requires time.'

And then of course their is that greatest of helpers, my mother, with the constant requests for me to 'slow down'.

They are all on to something i think.

Going with the flow is not easy, however. As Csikzentmihalyii says, it requires deep concentration and forgoing of distractions. Once you have identified what you are here to do, as my deep sense of wellbeing surely indicates that i have, you must then focus on that completely, putting in the requisite work when the universe and intuition (surely interelated guides) indicate it is needed. But it's no hassle when you love what you do.

My best work is happening as a consequence.

It happens in writing all the time. At the beginning of the year, I was constantly putting the cart before the horse, setting myself herculean tasks about which i knew little, and thus producing shabby work. But as my journey continues, I have discovered inspiration and quality come from peace, alignment and meditation.

So hear's to slowing down.

And going with the flow.

All those gurus can't be wrong - and nor can mom.

Writing time: 9 hours

Manifestation: 100%

Day 46 - The Retreat (cont) - self love

On the final day of the retreat over Easter, I had one last question.

I now knew that I posessed everything I needed to move forward with my book and my life, that the answers to everything lay right inside me, and how to ensure my heart would triumph over my ego.

But one piece of information still eluded me.

How was I to apply this new plan in 'real life' - back in the 'real' world? When you are surrounded by the matrix, it is all to easy to slip into old habits. It was troubling me. I had had great experiences with other forms of therapy (but none as revealing as my time at Tourne), and then failed to integrate the knowledge into my life back in London.

I sought advice from the Shaman leading the retreat, who told me all the answers lay in our dreams and subconcious, and if I really wanted to know, I should meditate and ask the Ayahausca in our final session that night. I nodded - the Ayahausca had revealed epic information to me in the past few days - there was no reason it would not do so again.

That night we drank our small glass of the peruvian plant and I sat meditating on my life, wandering why I could never full manage to apply all the things I knew were good for me into my life. Why did I always seem to lapse into drinking and taking drugs with people I knew were such a negative influence? Why did I sometimes make such bad choices? Why did I sometimes sabotage beneficial situations?

These questions were answered by a series of rather dark, depressing but hugely rewarding visualisations and realisations.

It's self love.

I don't apply it.

Some of my friends may laugh at that - but it's true.

Becuase we are not talking narcissistic self love here.

We are talking care and attention - TLC - the type you get from your own mother.

If you don't love yourself, you don't treat yourself right. Think about that for a second. Do you treat yourself like someone that you love?

The answer with me was a big 'no'.

Do you want someone you love to go out drinking all the time and thus watch them become unable to pursue their dreams? Do you hope to see people you love screw up beneficial situations and circumstances? Do you want someone you love to eat and drink too much and get overweight?

No.

And none of this stuff happens to you when you apply large doses of self love.

And it'll be different from now on in this corner.

Just asking 'If i loved myself would i do this?' has helped instil huge discipline over the past week or so.

Drinking sessions become yoga sessions. Meeting someone for an expensive lunch becomes a run in the park. Jumping out of bed to make a cup of coffee and manically writing my to do list becomes 15 minutes of meditation overlooking the trees next to my flat.

But above all, all I want to do is write. I am writing my best stuff ever - and it's from the heart not the ego.

That's what I learned on The Retreat.

The manifestation continues at pace.

Writing time: 7 hours

Manifestation: 100% (have not had a proper hangover for well over 3 weeks now - feeling very proud).

Day 45 - ralph waldo emerson

I've been reading lots of Emerson - his universal knowledge is cropping up endlessly in chapters of How To Survive Your 20's In One Piece.

Emerson is known, along with a handful of others, as one of the grandaddys of self help.

He is big on self reliance, and helped sculpt the principals of American individualism.

This is certainly something which I can currently identify with. My faith in this project, some might say, borders on the insane.

Problem is, there is no other way for me. And therein lies the joy of it all.

In Emerson's words:

'Insist on yourself: Never imitate.Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only a modicum of posession. That which each can do best, but none but his maker can teach him... Do that which is assigned to you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much.'

It's big stuff, is Emerson, and it is both inspiring and frightening in equal measure. But as we now know, living with fear is progress in itself.

'Do that which is assigned to you' especially rings true. Throughout my 20's I have always known I wanted to be a writer. I was pretty good at writing at school, but beyond that, there was no indication that writing was what i should pursue. I just knew one day that was my purpose.

And when you just know what you want, no matter how big the task, no matter how many your shortcomnings, if you've got the balls, you just have to get on with it.

Granted, i have received help from my family along the way, but there's no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. I am risking my future, the sceptics tell me.

And they are right. In this society, every day spent as a 29 year old man not earning and building my CV is a risk.

But I regard the 9to5 as the bigger risk. The risk that you do your 40 years and, if your heart wasn't in it, you end up with nothing. No love, no happiness, endless 'what ifs' and a death affirming prozac addiction. Moribund we all are, but i'd rather really live until i die than feel dead way before i actually am.

And I'm sorry to say this, but most people in the Matrix are kind of already dead.

You have to stay out of The Matrix and afford yourself the time and presence of mind to achieve your goals.

That is Emerson's meassage about the leap to self-reliant freedom.

Human beings find a way to survive.

Because it is just making that step that gets you to the ultimate destination. Because the palace of your dreams - the images of happiness and contentment, maybe the car, the house, the lifestyle - doesn't actually exist. Because when you finally get to a place that resembles it, that moment is instantly in the past and you want something else. Hence the truthful old cliche 'the journey is the destination'.

So you may as well enjoy it and apply yourself to what you love. I am only just beginning to understand that phrase. By that rationale, I already consider myself a success. Just to have escaped the matrix and be on my path feels incredible.

Emerson urges us to truly examine ourselves and identify our calling.

But now that I have done so, everyone gives me hassle about it...

He goes on: 'Our primary duty is not to our family, to our job, to our country, but only that which calls us to do or be. Too often 'duty' prevents us from taking up our true path. We can push aside a calling for years, choosing obvious sources of money or satisfaction or a more comfortable situation, but it will eventually make its claims.'

Hmmm. That feels good. Our duty is to give ourselves the best possible life, and in doing so help all those around us see the light also.

On education, brilliantly, RWE says that conventional education is very much about teaching people where their ceiling might be as opposed to how to break through it - society doesn't want to bust open the matrix. It would be too chaotic. He talks of real intelligence living in 'intuition' - whereas all traditional modern schooling is based around 'tuition'.

I like this guy Emerson very much.

In a flash of light, Emerson says: 'Your conformity explains nothing'.

Why then, is it almost shameful in today's society to say to someone 'i am working on my unpublished first book'.

You get the inevitable looks of 'yeah, right' or a kind of half hearted 'good on yer pal'.

Insincere comments formulated at the heart of the matrix.

About this feeling Emerson says: 'We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea that each of us represents'.

No more shame over here.

Emerson says I am doing the right thing...

I am going with him.

Writing time: 4 hours

Manifestation: 100%

Day 44 - be the change

It's tough to communicate positive change to people.

Just recently this blog seems to be more focussed on the manifestation of my mental stability via various forms of therapy than on the manifestation of my elusive publisher.

And all this work, this journeying into myself, is bringing up all sorts of unforseen problems.

I can't seem to have a conversation about it without getting riled by people's scepticism and inability to accept what is going on with me.

I mean, if someone asks you a question like 'so what are the effects of all this therapy stuff?' and I tell them the honest answer (after all it is me who is going through these experiences), it is incredibly annoying to then be told that i am wrong about what is happening.

I'm not wrong. Not a chance.

Not that there is such a thing as right and wrong, but i'm gonna use them tonight as i'm frustrated.

Because this is all knoweldge - knowledge about what is happenig to me - to my head and my heart and my spirit. It's not an opinion - I can feel the changes inside me. I know what they feel like, and no one else.

And if someone asks me a question about it, then it would be highly inauthentic of me to say anything other than the truth - and inauthenticity is no longer an option.

Not even a smidge.

I guess Ghandi had similar problems of his own when he was fulfiling his destiny...

That's what he must have meant when he said 'be the change.'

It's the only way to win over the outside world.

This terribly sceptical, cynical outside world.

Writing time: 5 hours

Manifestation: 80% due to slight hangover

Day 43 - The Retreat cont - 3 dimensional vision

On the first night of the retreat, i had a dream.

Frequent readers will know about my obsession with the Hawaian 'huna of being'. The idea behind the huna is that to live the life you really want, you must revolve equally between the 3 states of human existence: 'being', 'having' and 'doing'. Being is gathering energy via yoga, meditation and other beneficial, self serving exercises. Doing is using that energy to achieve and acumulate what we want in this life. Having is finishing off the energy supplies by enjoying the fruits of our labour.

The huna is usually presented in a 2D triangular diagram.

I have always believed, since my guru taught me of the huna a few years back, that within the huna lies happiness and fulfilment - master those 3 states, sharing your time equally among them, and you will get to where you want to be.

And as you frequent readers know, i have never quite mastered them.

The dream was a series of exchanges between myself and a shaman like figure. I was trying to give him an object I had made - a wooden triangle representing the huna.

'It's broken and i need you to fix it.' I said.

'It's not broken.' the shaman replied softly, smiling at me.

I woke up, trying to figure the exchange out, before drifting back to sleep and returning to the dream.

'It's broken and i want you to fix it for me.' i said, more forcefully.

'It's not broken.' The shaman said again kindly.

Again i woke, confused, before returning to my sleep.

Back in the dream I was frustrated and angry now - trying to force my wooden huna on the shaman.

'It's broken and i can't mend it. I need you to fix it. Please fix it for me."

But the shaman simply replied 'it's not broken, child.'

I woke exasperated, and a bit beffudled, as you sometimes can feel after a dream of cryptic nature.

But I wrote the dream down - not something i normally do.

The following night in our Ayahausca ceremony, I asked the plant to tell me what the dream meant, and lay back under the stars at my temporary home in the mountains.

I saw pyramids. Pyramids of all shapes and sizes, illuminated in gloomy shades of light by many moons, and then drenched in irridesent spotlights by a huge burning sun, revolving around my figure in the center of the pyramid.

And it hit me like the proverbial big bang.

The huna is not a 2D triangle. It's a 3D pyramid. A 3 sided pyramid. An object not a drawing. After 2 years of studying the huna, I finally realised what was missing - nothing. I just hadn't been looking at it properly.

But what was the fourth dimension? The missing point that I hadn't - until now - been able to see?

In the dream lay the answer, the Ayahausca revealed.

I re read my notes. And I saw many moons. And I relaised that the being, having and doing were all daylight activities. But for a good 30% of our lives we are asleep, dreaming our little heads off.

The fourth dimension is our dreams - our subconcious.

It's who we really are.

I haven't stopped writing, or re-drawing my huna, ever since.

It's more beautiful now than it ever was before - a 3D representation of my life. Something to refer to constantly and measure myself against.

And guess what? I'm completely in control of it. Divided perfectly between the four states of being.

Living out my destiny.

Writing time: 4 hours

Manifestation: 100%

Day 42 - lashings of cash

I was having a post retreat catch up at my friends new £1m+ one bedder in notting hill last night (it's funny, but as you approach 30 it dawns on you that some people are going to be stinking rich. This is a good thing - if your friends become rich, you benefit hugely).

We were talking therapy, and our respective life projects that you might call work.

Actually, we were trying to define what 'work' actually is - and what constituted being in the matrix or out of the matrix. You would certainly call his work, work. But he is not really in The Matrix - he is a maverick fund manager. He is the liam gallagher of fund management. But a bit posher.

I am not sure you would call what i do 'work'.

And amen to that.

And I was, as usual, seeking reassurance on this tricky path i am treading. And, shaky old sage that he is, my friend summed it up nicely.

Loosely the chat ran like this:

'So, basically, you're aiming to make a lot of money out of writing a book about how to avoid the type of responsibility free, degenerate existence that you've led for the past 10 years?'

'That's pretty much it, yes.'

'You're actually going to turn getting completely lashed into a living?'

'That's it.'

'Seems like a very good idea.'

'Thanks.'

'I mean, that is certainly what you are good at.'

'Yes it is.'

'I think it'll be huge. Your resources are endless. Go for it.'

'Thank you very much for the feedback.'

'No problem whatsoever.'

So there you have it.

In a roundabout way, another affirmation that what I am doing is absolutely right.

I mean, you should listen to people who earn pots of cash and live in notting hill, shouldn't you?

Writing time: 4 hours

Manifestation: endless

Day 41 - The Retreat part 1

OK, so I took a week off.

I justified not writing my blog during this time because a) it represented an unwelcome technological intrusion on my rural organic retreat in the Pyrenees and b) because I was trying to pull back from the front and just 'be' for a while.

I wanted to chat with my subconcious about the possibilities in life.

It worked.

So many crucial breakthroughs. My inner teacher awoke and I am writing as fluidly and effectively as I ever have.

There is a tangible sense of excitement in the air.

Off we set, myself and a friend, to the Pyrenees. Not for us an intoxicated bank holiday weekend taking advantages of the late licences and weekend spectaculars of London town. We were seeking something different, and we found it. The retreat, which manifested so sychronistically for us at the beginning of last week, just happened to be a plant dieting shamanic weekend of yoga, chi jung, walking, relaxation, floral baths, herbal remedies... and something called Ayahuasca. This was to keep us occupied in the evenings as it was a booze free exercise. More on that later.

So, nestling happily in a big farmhouse in the foothills of the Pyrenees near the market town of Foix, we began our induction into the Shamanic way. The intention? To experience the benefits mother nature provides but we so often overlook.

And of ocurse to seek further reassurance from our subconcious / an external body / god that this incredibly risky life path is the correct one.

To say the results were extraordinary would be an understatement of biblical proportions.

I have returned feeling truly at one with the universe, and very much ready and able to complete the task I have set myself.

The basic content of the days included some exercise, group discussions on the rigours of modern life, hopes, fears, and our philosophies on life. As far as these went, they were rewarding and illuminating as a group of 11 very different people shared their views.

And we would diet the plants as planned over the 5 day period.

All fairly simple stuff, and over the first 24 hours, I certainly felt I entered into a dream like state - the sun on the mountains, the relaxing chats and exercise and the company were totally void of pressure and stress and hugely beneficial.

But as we headed for night2, and our first Ayahausca session, I started to wander what this particularly famous plant would do for me. I have only really experienced chemically enhanced drugs in my time, as well as cocaine, which is probably chemically enhanced by the time it reaches my grubby hands. Weed has never done much for me. I find people boring on it and it sends me to sleep.

I sought the shaman's advice, which was basically a very mystical: 'let the plant do its work'.

I decided to let it go. The shaman was clearly not keen on trying to predict the results - they were different for everyone, apparently. But he did let slip that glimpsing the future was possible...

Which, let's face it, appeals.

To cut a long story short, my peruvian shot glass of liquified Ayahausca that night has quite possibly changed the course of my life.

Via a series of very vivid and tangible visions, it connected me to 3 key things. Actually 'connected' is too weak a phrase here. It infromed me of 3 key things. I don't now believe these things, I know them.

And what is knowledge?

Power.

Here they are:

1) the universe and mother nature provides you with everything you need in life. they will be here long before you and i are gone and they will prosper.

How did i learn this? I closed my eyes and was shown round planet earth by a shaman, who had previously featured as the village elder in indiana jones and the temple of doom. Mother nature spoke to me and explained that she had already been through the ice age and all that - it was no big deal. She also told me that we had the best deal so far... and if we wanted to fuck it up, that would be out of her hands, and she would be around to witness the rebirth and we wouldn't.

2) my writing activity is the dawn of a new era for me which is going to deliver everything i want, enable me to be myself for the first time in my life and prosper beyond my wildest dream.

How did i learn this? Because the shaman showed me, in technicolour, the 20 most beautiful sunrises the earth has ever seen and told me in no uncertain tewrms that they now represented the rest of my life. from here on out. serious.

3) the human brain is truly infinite and capable of completing any task we set it.

How do i know this? Because a serpent showed me around my brain. It looked like the colloseum, with a thousand doorways leading off it. But then the serpent hissed, telling me that this was the only part of my brain i was using. i inquired what she meant by that, as this image was clearly my entire brain.

The serpent giggled patronisingly, and hissed again.

Every door out of the thousand swung open. Behind each one was another colloseum, with a thousand doors in each one, leading to another thousand doors with thousand door colloseums behind them.

And so on. And on. And on.

The concept, the idea and the definition of 'infinty' revealed, right before my eyes.

Infinite ability and capability.

Religious, in the truest sense of the word.

So. A nice introduction to a very gentle, slightly psychedelic new experience. They were visions, but not like those you get on LSD. These visions meant something -they were realisations, not just pretty pictures. Proper stuff.

Awe inspiring in fact.

But softly softly... A beautiful experience, gob smacking too, but subtle at the same time. nothing brutal about it.

You get the picture.

Waking up the next morning felt like the first day of the rest of eternity, in which i will play the central role. And I have to say it feels good that all this is happening around my 30th birthday in a few weeks.

The manifestation in my life is currently so thick you could reach out and touch it.

Read more on The Retreat tomorrow - for further education from the very center of planet earth.

Writing time: n/a

Manifestation: 100%

Day 35-40 - Jack is on vacation

Day 35 - the energies of feedback

Had two great pieces of feedback yesterday.

One to this blog (which i have been worrying is becoming increasingly directionless) and one on all my current work (from guru).

It has refuelled me both spiritually and creatively.

It also reminds me that people do, periodically, actually find this blog and enjoy reading it.

It's weird, but just one person seems... enough. Obviously I want a lot more readers, but one is enough for now.

I have reached out and touched someone.

So thanks for the feedback!

I also seem to have reached out and touched someone who has introduced me to Islamic thought and belief (check out feedback to 'digesting the red pill' from last week). Not exactly my target market but they are welcome too.

But the feedback has encouraged me to return to source and re focus on manifesting my future as a best selling author on 20somethings.

So no more opinions - manifestation only.

I re watched 'What The Bleep Do We Know' over the weekend. Such a cool movie. Once you build up a hunger for something in life and start to make it your hobby / work / life, it's incredible the speed at which your brain can build a vat of knowledge. I mean, we spend 20 years in school with stuff bouncing off our heads cause we aren't interested in it, and then, Ping!, we get on to something and in days we are an authority - if you are genuinely excited by something I mean. The human brain rocks. Ever since I was first told about The Field by Lynne McTaggart, and watched The Secret and What The Bleep, the world just seems to make so much sense...

Here it is in a nutshell: All we are is energy. We are not separate at all. The universe is made up of particles, atoms, molecules, which are all energy, flowing freely between each one of us. Our energy vibrates, and our thoughts are energetic in themselves, and they transmit light. The universe itself will deliver directly correspondent lifestyle to whatever thought vibrations we as human beings give off. Our thoughts lead our actions and the universe responds. Master your thoughts and master your life.

I am watching it work every single day.

It's not some religious 'belief'. It's actually right there in front of our eyes - proof. All you need to do is follow the instructions all around you.

You don't even need to trust it after the first few days - because once you start doing it, you know it works.

The global explosion in self help and Kaizen (constant self improvement), is totally based on thoughts and philosophies that have been proven for centuries.

Karma and Dharma. The Huna of Being. Positive Thought. Fear as a friend.

They have all been around since time began.

How To Survive Your 20's will repackage these once more, because they work.

Obviously it will be packaged in my own unique brand of massive weirdness and absurdity, and written in the language of the 20something, but I am proud to carry these messages forward to the next generation.

Feedback is so good.

Thanks to both of you.

Go forth and sprinkle altruism liberally on life.

Writing time: 6 hours

Manifestation: 100%

PS: property saga due to come to a close today. At last. More tomorrow.

Days 33&34 - parents / finding what you love

Bit of a breakthrough on the weekend regards core message of How To Survive Your Twenties.

Mission statement / directive / strapline: Find what YOU love doing and pursue it at all costs.

Why is it that your parents provide the biggest opportunities and yet the biggest obstacles in life?

It means our whole lives are spent in this endless cycle of gratitude and guilt, trying to fulfil their expectations and then apologising for simply being ourselves.

My dilemma at the moment is that I genuinely want to spend time with my parents - I am lucky enough to enjoy it - but it's difficult because they are so worried about what I am doing with my life, which ends up seeping into every conversation we have, usually resulting in an argument. Such as the one which manifested while helping my mother lift a few boxes here and there this weekend. Ironically, it all stems from the fact that 99% of parents love their kids and just want to see them do well.

And that is 'do well' as in 'do OK', not do well as in change the world (even just a little bit). In fact they want the opposite.

But the most rewarding pathways are those where you can't see the destination.

Parents simply can't fully endorse a career path they know nothing about. Especially if they suspect you know nothing about it either, as was so palpably the case when yours truly embarked on present hair brained scheme (my knowledge and power increases daily, however).
Robin Sharma, a favourite writer of mine, says everyone should try and change the world once. Great idea. How about once a week?! Maybe once a month or year is more realistic. Imagine the difference.

Another of his pearls is 'it's risky out on a limb, but that's where all the fruit is'.

Beautiful.

One of the big things I have got recently is what an acute precedent your parents set over your future... without even realising it.

It's usually a positive precedent, but a limiting one.

And I'm wagering that it's a big problem for the development of 20somethings everywhere.

Although my parents think they might have good suggestions for a potential career path, they are invariably not synchronistic with what I want from life.

The conventions of yesteryear will be different for our generation. Although I agree property ownership should be a natural 'goal' (hate that word) for a 20something, I believe finding what you love doing and pursuing it at all costs should come way ahead.

Because that way you avoid the trappings of a life you don't love.

And where does a 20something hear that from? No one. It's just convention after convention after convention. Which supposedly results in happiness - but it's an illusion. It's actually making do with unhappiness.

It is a journey the 20something must take themselves, starting within. And so many of them never actually take that journey, because they been ticking, or have ticked, their parents boxes. And they never actually find what their own boxes are, let alone tick them...

Take a moment to consider how absurd that is.

It makes life tough when you are following your own path - because all you friends / relatives are probably ticking their parents boxes and that is all your parents see.

Of course, finding what you love doing and pursuing it is one of life's scariest tasks. But man, does it feel good. Totally alive.

But imagine how frightening it is for us, the 20something, to take that route... And then amplify that fear times 10 to get to where a parent feels about it. When they can't see all the work and development and progress on a daily basis.

Because I am living life outside the comfort zone, I automatically drag my close ones outside the zone as well. But I can't let that stop me.

Because if we think our parents would be proud of us when we've ticked all their boxes, imagine how proud they will be when we tick our boxes too.

Because only then will they be looking at a complete person.

From outside the zone, salvation is within reach. If I can just remain sober long enough to grab it...

How To Survive your 20's will be infused with this mission: for 20something's to find what they love. To live happily in fear, right outside the comfort zone.

That is how my humorous, slightly cynical take on self help can genuinely be of use to 20somethings everywhere.

Real happiness lies just the other side of that one simple task.

And wealth beyond reason will follow.

Writing time: 2hours

Manifestation: 90%

Day 32 - bikram bodies

I am nearing the completion of my 30 day Bikram yoga challenge.

At the end of Monday, I will have completed 45 hours of yoga in a room heated to 45degrees.

I feel leaner and fitter, and am positively gliding through life. Combined with my recent abstinence, it is not only fuelling my wellbeing but also feeding my creativity as the words flow.

It has undoubtedly been a positive exercise.

And not just because Elle McPherson goes to the same class. In fact she was even on the next door mat to me a couple of days ago.

Seriously though, I know this is probably blasphemous to most yogis, but Bikram does provide one of the best opportunities to meet and oggle women that I have ever come across. Because it is so hot in the room, the boys wear swimming trunks and the girls wear... well, not a lot. And everyone spends the entire 90 minutes writhing, sweating and groaning merely inches away from one another.

Am I the only person to find this a rather erotic way of getting my daily exercise? Or am I just a filthy little 20something, hormones raging and clearly lacking the emotinal maturity to use bikram for what it is intended - the union of mind, body and soul, as opposed to just straight forward weight loss?

Who cares?

Especially with the quality on display in my class today. Really quite incredibly fit birds were everywhere - all around the room. There are always a few old hags in there at the same time, or a few big boilers trying to shed some pounds, but in general the beauty on display is fantastic.

It really brightens up my day.

But more to the point, the poeple who go there are so agreeable. And I put this down to the fact that they are doing a form of yoga as their exercise as opposed to going to some gym full of lycra clad aerobics junkies listening to techno full blast on their i-pods. Even in the guys changing room at bikram, everyone sits down and talks after the class - just good friendly chat and a bit of a laugh. Where do you get that in a gym? All the blokmes are too busy preening in the mirrors, applying hair gel and plucking their eyebrows.

It's almost a complete role reversal from a few years ago.

But I digress. Back to the real reason to attend Bikram - fit women.

You see, girls who practice bikram are also really freindly. They are down to earth and seem keen to chat.

And after my successful one night stand with blonde alice on wednesday, i feel like getting back in the game.

I want to see more girls.

Actually, I guess what I am saying is I want to have sex more often. But also, i think seeing a few girls would take my mind off my work and off going out at night.

But due to my new life of abstinence, this is going to prove difficult, as the usual route of going to bars and picking up drunk birds isn't an option.

And nor is it particularly appealing.

One of my favourite writers, Nirpal Dhaliwal, often speaks of his ability as a mature man to pull birds without being drunk.

This is now my mission.

Where to start?

Hmmmm. Let me think.

Writing time: 3 hours

Manifestation: 85%

Day 32 - wednesday night alcoholism

Is it physically possible to go to a pub and have one drink only?

I'm not sure.

Flatmate and I last night ventured to our local pub. We had registered on Monday that there had simply not been enough boozing going on of late.

In fact, it was my first drink in nearly two weeks.

I feel very proud.

Cue conversation about exactly what constitutes alcoholism - a very real problem for 20somethings everywhere. There are apparently a set of questions we can ask ourselves to establish whether or not we have an alcohol problem.

"Have I ever woken up thinking 'I need a drink'?" is one of them.

Hmmmm. Let me think.

"Has anyone ever annoyed you by recommending you cut down on your drinking?" Is another.

The two blonde sisters we had the good fortune of sitting next to agreed that most of the people they knew, on these grounds, had an alcohol problem. What is it about London? It seems par for the course to get lashed Wednesday through Sunday. And when can a poor defenceless 20something, that most alone of people, identify when they are drinking too much?

For me it came a number of years ago when I finally realised that I was going to bars to drink rather than going to bars to meet friends. This realisation manifested in a panic attack one friday night when i was faced with an entire weekend of 'no plans'. I had been drinking heavily for a few years, and I realised how lonely i actually was in life. I simply didn't want to be where I was. And booze was the outlet. I would create reasons to hook up with people for a 'catch up', with the sole intention of getting completely wasted. Pretty soon I developed a small group of people who are interested in doing precisely the same thing. Following that, I no longer had to create a reason - we just got on with the job in hand. But in reality, there was nothing wrong with where I was, or my life.

But alcohol made it feel like there was.

Tribal pull is almost irrisistable. That group of people I built up around me are now my friends. And resisiting the temtapation of seeing them is proving most difficult. Doing what I am doing requires nothing less than 100% functionality in order to produce the quality of work that I need to. Friends can simply fly at half mast for a day a week. I cannot.

And just a few pints last night have dulled my creativity to such an extent that I am considering a prolonged period of abstinence.

Tonight there is another party. But I am not going.

How To Survive Your 20's will only manifest as a bestseller if I allow myself time out from the tribe.

It is the key to my future.

What I am doing right now is precisely what I will expeirence tomorrow and every day after that.

So no more partying for this boy.

We concluded that London was a town built for the alcoholic. 24 hour licensing laws, the climate and the pub culture represent huge temptation for the urban 20something.

I have written off the evening as 'research'. I must become an authority on such matters.

The conversation wrapped up quite nicely with blonde1, Alice, inviting me back to hers for a nightcap, which i thought most kind.

First one night stand of the year actually - such fun.

Writing time: 5 hours

Manifestation: 85%

Day 31 - sceptics and believers

There are 2 types of people on this planet.

Spectators and players.

But 2 more interesting groups are sceptics and believers.

What differentiates a sceptic and a believer?

Ignorance, I think.

But ignorance is such an ugly word. The human condition it represents is something to be suffered, not sported. Yet the bravado with which some people can display their ignorance can sometimes match the word for unpleasantness.

How do you open someone's eyes to something they have never experienced, and cannot touch, taste or smell? Especially when you care about the person so much that it becomes a mission in life to introduce them to this new possibility.

Last night I took two of my best friends to a talk about the Landmark Forum, an event which now holds real prominence in my past, and will forever shape my present and future. I also took my sister, who loved it.

But Friend1 is a fund manager. And Friend2 is a stockbroker. Both rich young men.

One got it. One didn't.

Words aside, that is the impression I got - that is the perception they created.

Some things in life are so real, and so tangible, yet so difficult to grasp, that all your usual behavioural instincts such as sarcasm, humour and flippancy are exposed for being exactly what they are - shields of ignorance.

And in this precise instance, nothing fails like success.

How can a sceptic be turned?

I think it's by showing them how operating as a believer is always the winning way to play. In fact, it's the only way to play.

But to show this you must first explain that the above pathway to success is very, very real. And the problem with doing that is the pathway has nothing to do with society's conventional methods of equating success. Money. Power. Job title. Status. It's almost impossible to convey to a person who has achieved these things without establishing a spiritual identity how meaningless they really are.

And how meaningful something can be that you have to simply experience rather than purchase, indulge in etc.

And that's the thing. Sceptics have to know before they believe.

To them, Knowing is trusting.

But trust has nothing to do with knowledge.

And to be on the field of play is to trust all around you until that trust is abused.

That is why it is so intimidating being out there. So frightening.

And rewarding.

That is why the stands are full of sceptics, and the field of play full of believers.

Sceptics, by definition, cannot be players.

And that is why so few people in this world who think they are happy in the stands, never experience the ecstacy of being on the field of play.

Belief is real. And it transforms the dull to the bright, the bright into the shining, and the shining into the incandescent...

I won't stop standing for it.

Or my pals.

Writing time: 5 hours

Manifestation: 100%